The show opened with a highlight reel from Cold As Hell: Mayhem & Razorblade getting into a car accident before the show and being hospitalized, unable to make the PPV - “These Hands” Roy Fade being awarded the QCW World Television title as a result and immediately challenging “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal to have his main event street fight against him for the belt - Nazir throwing some shots at Mayhem before accepting and warning Fade he might not be ready - Party Animal beating Anton “Teknik” Stahl to get a shot at the World TV Champion tonight - Scott Holmes handing Summer Rose the new QCW Women’s WORLD Championship after her successful title defense, as well as handing off the new QCW WORLD Tag Team Championships to the College Park Family after their successful defense - Summer Rose again, but this time throwing in the towel as Winter Wonderland was being maimed in WarGames, to the delight of the Forbidden Book Club and the confusion, dismay and anger of the Storybookers - in the main event, Naz absolutely drilling Fade with an Allah-tier Rolling Elbow; Fade coming back with the Decision to cut off Naz’s tope attempt; Naz eventually winning the belt with the WMDDT and smiling far too wide to be considered friendly, holding up the World TV Championship and saying to the hard camera “I know what you rabble *thinks* this says - what it *actually* says is
REAL
World’s
Champ.”
Naz’s evil grin gave way to the show open, and after the pyro went off the usual suspects welcomed them to another Friday night worth of fights, with Party Animal getting the shot at Nazir el-Fadal in the main event, and the beginning of the Women’s World Tag Team Championship tournament with the finals to be held at QCW’s March PPV, Golden Rule. In addition to that –
–whatever they were going to say next got swallowed up by new, unfamiliar to QCW music hitting the PA: Arcarsenal, by At the Drive-In. The crowd and Duck’s confusion crystallized into hate when they saw who was the architect behind it – the new TV Champion, already smiling as he stepped into the boo-filled arena, decided to make it louder by taking off his sportcoat to reveal a simple black shirt with bold white lettering that asked a simple question:
WHERE IS MAYHEM?
Naz entered the ring and stood in the middle of it, defiantly holding up the TV title as gold pyro fired out of the ringposts and cascaded down from the overhead Quarantron. As longtime QCW fans know by now, sometimes Jihad Time and Gloating O’Clock are synchronous - Naz grabbing the mic from Duck and holding it out to soak up every jeer from the crowd.
He noted that when Summer retained her championship, Holmes was there front and center to give her a shiny new belt, same as he was when he handed off the new titles to the College Parkers. But Nazir not only saves QCW’s newest and shiniest championship from being cursed to a title reign by Black Mayhem, but becomes the first person to EVER earn a Triple Crown in QCW (“QCW Champion, the REAL QCW World Champion, now your World Television Champion – use that Google for something other than porn, rabble”) and, quelle surprise, crickets. In the latest example of time being a flat circle, Naz has to fight for a championship gifted, GIFTED to an inferior; by that reasoning, Mayhem should have been forced to forfeit the World Title in the second place back to the man who never should have gotten it stolen from him in the first place. It’s been nearly a year and a half, and none of the rabble get it, Scott Holmes doesn’t get it, that never-been has-was at the announce doesn’t get it – nobody gets that while the marquees, concessions and championships all say QCW, he’s worked his ass off since two summers ago to make those letters shorthand for Jihad Time.
Who won the first match of the Quarantine Era? Who was such a dominant Worldwide Leader they won’t hold the tournament again this year less he embarrass another set of allegedly elite wrestlers? Who took it upon themselves to make it the QCW World Championship by going international when the suits failed, and lo and behold, the moment he proved it viable they pull their heads out of each other’s asses and head off to Toronto? Who holds the longest winning streak in QCW history, marred only by a crooked referee? He’s not 42, but Nazir el-Fadal is the answer to QCW’s everything. He thought the Myth of Mayhem referred to his wrestling “ability”, but just as he can’t tell a cravate from a dickey he apparently can’t tell a red light from a yellow one, either.
And if that’s gotten the rabble angry, mazel tov to them; his new year’s resolution was twofold: wake up an hour earlier every day just to hate them all the more, and recapture his physical property thieved from him at Devil’s Night. Look where we are not even two weeks into ‘22 - he is 10 successful title defenses away from being able to cash in this belt for his other belt, though if he got the opportunities the Great White Dopes did, Holmes would let him hold both at the same time and be his own #1 contender. Sure, Party Animal will show up in the main event and get the rabble all riled up in their shared alcoholism for seltzer water cut with piss, but he’s no more a contender to the real world’s championship than Fade, or Jimbo, or the Crash Test Dummies mmm mmm mmm mmming at everything Naz says from the comfort of their hospital beds. The countdown begins tonight, and when it stops running he *will* stand before the rabble QCW World Champion, and praise Allah, once that happens, it’ll be another piece of QCW history that he and only he could make, since if he were to lower himself to use their metrics that would make him the first two-time QCW World Champion. Again, they don’t get it: they won’t be able to memory hole him. They will not be able to whitewash him out of the record books. Why? Because he’s Nazir el-Fadal – the Triple Crown Jewel of QCW. Now hit his new music.
With the crowd livid, Nazir smirked then cackled, hocking a loogie at Starr before walking to the back – but suddenly got spun around and took a White Claw mist right between the eyes by Party Animal, to the emphatic roar of the attendees. They face off for the TV title in the main event tonight! Naz screamed and clutched at his face; PA whipped out a Claw and shotgunned it, then cracked open another one…and left it next to Naz as he headed to the back, smiling.
| • Mirror Mirror (w/”Tiki God” Al Buffet) d. “American Muscle” Bobby Bash • | Before the bell rang, Starr exclaimed on commentary that this was going to be a mismatch and over quickly. He was right, just not in the way he expected/hoped as Mirror went after Bash right at the bell, kept up the pressure (even getting him up and over for a big Saito suplex that popped the crowd), then locked down their signature Look Inward for a tapout in under five minutes. SQUASH
After the match, Tiki God helped Bash to his feet, dusted him off, and held open the ropes for him to walk back to the locker room. Mirror then addressed the crowd to a loud, mixed reaction:
“Fans, stans, and haters! New Year’s is my favorite time of year, since it is a time for self-reflection. And I want nothing more than for my fellow workers to take time to reflect as well. Mainly, they should ask themselves: ‘Is QCW really right for me? Would I be happier in another promotion? Or maybe selling cars? Or taking up knitting?’
TIKI: “Or opening a restaurant!”
(Mirror pats Tiki on the head. Thankfully, corpsing is less obvious when you’re wearing a mask.)
“Where was I? Oh yes, self-reflection. I can help! One by one, I will be challenging every man, woman, and those that opt out of gender roles, to see their true selves. I can’t shoulder this responsibility alone, so, with the help of the strongest and most self-realized person I know, we will make sure they all have a chance to…Look Inward.
“I don’t want to pull a Nazir el-Fadal and eat up precious airtime, so I will wrap it up. This is the Year of Looking Inward, and a shiny gold title belt makes a divine mirror. That’s my New Year’s resolution, and I will be holding to it. HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
On the way out of the ring, Mirror feinted a slap at Starr, who did his best armadillo impersonation to laughter from Mirror, Al, Steve, the crowd and probably you, too. Starr grumbled and Vandeblanche mocked him. "Two for flinching, Markie!"
"You call me Markie again and you'll be back to doing the weekend weather in Clearwater, I promise you that."
| • Serge Batroc d. Anton “Teknik” Stahl (w/”King Carny” Richard Windsor) • | the IWC, weeks ago, threatened to beat the former tag champ into the hospital. He counteroffered that instead, he’d beat all their asses and take over the group.
You can quibble about how much ass-kicking was done considering all these matches ended being hard-hitting but cleanly fought based on holds and counterholds, but Serge first took out Williams (who then got turfed), then Windsor, who’s relationship with Anton has been tetchy since. Anton was tetchy, period, as he lost a match to Party Animal at the PPV thanks in part to the…well, Claw Mist that would have given him the main event & a shot at the TV title tonight. Anton went at Serge right at the bell, and had the upper hand early. Serge went to the floor to break up the flow, and kept an eye out for possible Windsor interference but Stahl merely sat on the middle rope and invited Serge in; the Frenchman looked askance then slid under the bottom rope instead.
Turning point came right before the commercial break as Anton missed a corner charge and slammed his shoulder into the post; Serge worked the shoulder over during the back end of the match to the point that Stahl couldn’t even get him up for a suplex and Serge countered out to Anton’s own Matter of Time elevated hammerlock; Stahl survived that by eventually getting the toe of his boot on the bottom rope but it left him easy pickings for the Arc de Triomphe that put a button on things. *** Serge goes 3-0 against his fellow Euros and gains the leadership helm of the International Workrate Consortium.
A vignette from the Haunted Library was presumably lit by candlelight, as the Forbidden Book Club both rested up from and celebrated their victory in WarGames, sparing some mocking concern for Summer Rose before deciding to interlink hands and intone a spell; the light was actually a fiery pentagram, and in the middle of it were the Immortals, who the FBC took a shine to at the PPV. Set your phasers for spooky!
| • “Bollywood Diva” Sohia Patel d. Winter Wonderland • | As the FBC referred to and you might remember from the opening recap, WarGames ended when Summer showed up and saved (?) Winter from the FBC by throwing in the towel; QCW’s medical staff had advised Winter against returning to the ring this fast, but bandaged forehead and all, Winter insisted on fighting (it IS Friday night, after all). She used her power to dominate early, even getting the Idol of Mumbai and Crush alum in the Torture Rack – Patel landed a flurry of elbows to the cut to open it and break the hold. Patel started coming back as Winter started to bleed, her quickness coming to the front as she hit a trio of topes on Winter that would end up putting the match conclusively in her favor. Unable to get Winter all the way up for her signature Falcon Arrow, Patel decided instead to land a vicious DDT that turned Winter vertical before flying off of the top with a beautiful 630 senton (and got Starr bleeped out on commentary briefly as a result) to get the hard fought W, her first in QCW. ** ½ Post-match, the Storybookers checked on Winter, who waved them off and slowly got up in order to shake Sohia’s hand and raise it to the cheers of the crowd. Patel did a little celebratory Bollywood Shuffle post-match after the ‘Bookers left.
Backstage, Enya Face was with Mirror Mirror & the Tiki God, but to the surprise of most, it was Al who hogged the mic, saying that Mirror had their plans, and he had his - to challenge the winner of the main event to put their title on the line against him next week. It doesn’t matter the size of the person, it matters how they fill out a Hawaiian shirt, and nothing goes with tropical colors like a splash of gold. Mirror looked pleasantly surprised at this.
(Ah, whaddya know from funny, ya bastids?)
| • Hell On Wheels (Hammerhead Shark & Block Solid) d. The Polycule (@smashleysmithoffical & Justine) in a first round Women’s World Tag Team title tournament match • | Methinks given the past few months that there should be more Ls in Polycule and/or they should come out to DCFC’s “the Sound of Settling”. Anyway, you know about the resident doormats; H.O.W. (lol) are two Crush alumnae and former roller derby enthusiasts who want nothing but a good time, and they got it here to the crowd’s increasing delight (even bringing back the old Nasty Boys’ Pit Stop for the biggest pop of the match) before polishing off poor @ with a minor variant on their Penalty Elbows – sandwiching @ with them in the middle of the ring instead of waiting for her to come off of the ropes. Shark fended off Justine during the pinfall, and yes, another post-match tantrum ensued. Wheels get the winners of the Forbidden Book Club/Mean Season match that’ll happen on next week’s Ruckus in the semis. *
It was quiet, and snow fell lightly on the ground. Interspersed in brief shots between that were Gothic Horror, walking quietly in real time - and getting nearly humiliated by the Immortals on Sunday before the newcomers put them away decisively. They stopped their walking when they saw a grave - theirs.
GOTHIC HORROR
Who Cares - 2022
A trash can was set in front of the headstone, and familiar looking gear started going into it. Heard but not seen was the following:
“It turns out that for all their bluster, the Immortals were right. Gothic Horror is dead. We have them to thank for that. It was a funeral and a necessary one to break the spell the Club put us under. There’s nothing like an ass whipping to introduce a man or men to what they really are, and we are not the undead. Nor rappers. What we are are WRESTLERS. Soon, we will reveal our true selves. And when that happens, the Immortals – the whole tag division that was and once again will be ours - will be buried alive in our wake.”
A match lit the gear aflame, the trash can placed in front of the headstone alight by flames with the burning of the gear. TAFKA Gothic Horror were no longer there.
On Ruckus next week, the first round of the Women’s World Tag title tourney continues (FBC/Mean Season), Serge Batroc takes his place as lead of the IWC, and Tiki God will get a shot at the winner of the next match, tonight’s main event:
| • “”the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal [c] ddq. Party Animal to retain the QCW World Television Championship (1/10) • | Party Animal had a good showing in the title tournament and then beat Anton Sunday to get the shot tonight, also cutting off Nazir’s parade of ego that kicked off the show with some well timed Claw between the eyes. Absent the World Champion, Naz is not only using his new championship to reassert his dominance over QCW but to earn his way into what would presumably be a bulletproof title shot [for those just joining us, once a Television Champion makes 10 successful defenses they can cash in/forfeit the title for a World Title shot at a time and place of their choosing]. Nazir took the belt from These Hands in the main Sunday night to become (as he so annoyingly made Duck announce him as) the longest-reigning World Television Champion in QCW’s history (which goes back some 66 years, as opposed to this belt’s, which was birthed on Sunday night).
Naz made the referee pat down PA before the match; three Claws were found and discarded. PA replicated that idea, and the ref found brass knucks on Naz, who immediately tried to play Unfrozen Caveman Champion about it. Unfortunately for him, the bell had rung, and PA nearly took his head off with a superkick that sent him between the ropes. PA followed up and took control of Naz early, only to get drilled out of nowhere with the same vicious rolling elbow that dropped Fade Sunday night, the announce calling it the MDK Elbow. Nazir kept control of the match, and the Hamrin Valley Driver set up Naz going for the throat slash taunt to set up the WMDDDT –
–then Party Animal struggled in midair, then Naz was struggling to breathe, period, since PA had reversed it into his signature submission, the (Mandible) Claw is Law. Naz struggled to fight it off, then gave up and used his remaining strength to shove PA into the ref. I mean, it was mildly debatable and the announce did so while the referee is down, but it seemed pretty obvious to me and Starr. With both men down, Roy Fade ran down to the ring and delivered the Decision to Naz before seemingly deciding whether or not to put Party on top for the win. While he was thinking it over, Oasis’ Supersonic came on over the PA, and another man who knows something about caving in opponents’ skulls with running knee strikes came back from his maternity leave – “the Fury” Jim Jaspers. Fade waved Jaspers on, and they brawled, Jaspers dodging an attempted low blow before he executed one of his own and took These Hands down to Fury Road, to the crowd’s roaring. He then turned and let an evil grin spread across his face as Naz was recovering on the mat, and drilled Naz with a Fury Road of his own; unfortunately, he did this about two seconds after the referee recovered, and as such, the bell was called. ***
Party Animal got in Jim’s face about it, then Fade came from behind and hit a knee into Jim’s back that sent him into Party. Fade went back on the attack on Jaspers, Party got involved after they recovered and all three men started brawling in various configurations while Naz, holding his head, crawled up the ramp with the TV title in tow. He looked back at the ring, let out a cackle, then winced at the cackle hurting his scrambled brains. One down, nine to go, even if it didn’t exactly go the way he wanted it to – see you next Friday from Arena Quarantina, where QCW will continue to bring the Ruckus!
Next: s1e15 Ruckus
