QCW Ruckus [s1e20 • February 25th, 2022]

Last Week On Ruckus: The College Park Family beat Más Histeria in an instant classic to retain the World Tag Team titles • Nazir el-Fadal again successfully defended the World TV title and suggested that Razorblade was getting screwed over by the same conspiracy he was… • …even if that was hot air, Mayhem teamed with Razorblade against the Immortals in the main event, got pinned by Einherjar, then left Razorblade high and dry after Savage tried to make a save for him…

Not the usual opening - we, the viewer, were looking up at Mason “Razorblade” Savage in a vintage grey jacket/maroon vest combo, who pointed his index finger at the camera and intoned the following, occasionally interrupted by shots of him walking various San Franciscan rooftops:

I know what you’re thinking.

Was it a three count or only two?

To tell you the truth?  I lost count myself in all the excitement.  But being that this is the Soul Crusher, the most powerful finisher in QCW and will knock your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself one question: do I feel lucky?

Well?!

Do you – Mayhem?

QCW GOLDEN RULE

March 12th

Cow Palace

San Francisco

ALL the gold up for grabs.

Who’s gonna rule?

Now that we’re done screening Dirty Razorblade, roll the open, set off 20 seconds worth of pyro (!) and let Steve and S. welcome you to another edition of Ruckus - two more title matches tonight and a couple of grudges that might get settled tonight in other matches.  A video package segued out of that, focusing on everyone competing for TV title shots, most specifically Mirror Mirror, “These Hands” Roy Fade, and the men competing in the opener who first butted heads when Jaspers accidentally cost Party Animal their title shot last month going after Naz himself.

| • Party Animal dco. “The Fury” Jim Jaspers • | Animal is slowly reasserting themselves as title shot worthy again, having bested Mirror last week with a pin - but two weeks ago took a trip down to Fury Road.  Jaspers still hasn’t gotten a shot at Naz yet, but has been pretty dominant since coming back from maternity leave a few weeks ago.  Crowd didn’t know who to root for and seemed to slide their favor based on whomever was getting their ass kicked at x point in the match.  It went 50/50 and into two segments, ending when Party’s spear between the ropes took him and Jaspers to the floor; Party rolled in and while the ref checked on him, These Hands ran down and shoved Jaspers into the ringpost, then hid out of sight while The Fury got counted out.  **  After that, Fade got into the ring and beat down the tired Party Animal, lining him up for then hitting the Decision.  Crowd booed as Fade cackled, brushing some dirt off his shoulders before he left the ring.

After commercials, fire up nin’s “Wish” and the crowd was Not Pleased.  The World Champion came out and looked hurt by the reaction he got, taking the microphone from Duck but opting to cut his promo on the ramp rather than in the ring.  He’s heard the boos and seen everything everyone has been saying on social media about him “ditching” Razorblade last week (he, of course, got cut off by a big round of boos after saying this) but he didn’t become champion by playing nice.  Everyone’s too busy joining Team Razorblade to note that he cost them the match against the Immortals, but as a champion Mayhem’s here to tell him that if he can keep his violent tendencies under control, who knows?  He might learn to wield it to his advantage.  Crowd booed lustily as Mayhem set down the mic, then roared when “Unscripted Violence” hit the PA to bring out the aforementioned Razorblade.  

He opted to stay at the apex of the ramp, chuckling wryly before calling horseshit (getting bleeped as a result and another big pop from the crowd).  Maybe the problem with his tendencies is that they haven’t been violent enough…or violent against the right people.  Pointing at Mayhem while he said that got his point across, as did him saying that both Mayhem and Mirror Mirror have cost him the Television title and he was tired of it.  So maybe there was a different championship he should be going after.  Crowd roared again as Mayhem got offended, wondering how he could do this to his best friend?  Razorblade noted he was wondering the same thing while he was laid up in the hospital watching Naz preen around with what should be his belt.  So maybe they’re not best friends anymore; maybe they’re just the two best guys in QCW and should be fighting for the World Title since they are.  Because while Mayhem was out here whining, Razorblade was in the back with Scott Holmes, and he gave up his golden goose real quick.  So tonight’s main event is Mayhem v. Razorblade – don’t worry, CHAMP, non-title - but when Razorblade wins, he gets his first one on one shot at the World Title come Golden Rule.  And when Mayhem’s in a hospital bed after that?  It won’t be an accident. Crowd roared as Razorblade smirked before heading off to the back, while Mayhem’s face got a couple shades of red before he yelled out a “Fine!” and threw down the mic for good.

| • Science Fiction Double Feature d. The Angel Sisters in a semifinal Women’s World Tag Team championships tournament match • | The unlikely duo of Jane Doe & Cindy Monet found some unique chemistry starting in December at the Ascent to the Throne battle royale then formed this tag team.  The Angel Sisters came over in the acquisition of Crush around this time, though all that brought these duos together was a desire to make the finals against the Forbidden Book Club.  Match was a coin flip and came close to hitting the 30-minute time limit, but it ended when SFDF won as they had in the opening round, Monet’s Tightrope into Doe’s Standard Finisher.  ** After the match, when the Features posed on the ropes signaling that They Want the Belts, the lights turned red and blinked four times as you might expect.

Steve passed along word from Scott Holmes that Razorblade was right: should he beat Mayhem in the main event tonight, he’ll get him one on one for the World Title at Golden Rule.  But what he didn’t know is that should he win his match tonight, both he & Mayhem will Pick Your Poison next week and pick the other man’s opponent for that episode of Ruckus, a QCW first yet again.  Dope.

| • Mirror Mirror d. “These Hands” Roy Fade • | A minor upset here given that Fade’s been on a roll since dropping the TV title to Naz at Cold As Hell last month and Mirror just got pinned clean by Party Animal on last week’s show.  Also notable by his absence was one Tiki God; maybe that relationship’s already fizzled out somehow.  Still, Mirror got their revenge for Fade pinning them in one of the quickest matches in QCW history on Christmas Eve and they did it as you might expect - they outthought Fade.  They fought dirty when they had to, did some chickenshit stuff when they had to, and most importantly avoided the Decision.  When Fade missed and went flying into the corner buckles, Mirror spent the rest of the match working over Fade’s leg and eventually trapping him in an STF.  He made the ropes eventually but was diminished goods for the rest of the match and shockingly got caught by a WMDDT from Mirror that ended the match to oohs and applause from the faithful.  ** ½  Mirror bathed in the crowd’s loud, mixed reaction post-match and told the hard camera that they weren’t done with the Champion of Chatter just yet.  He couldn’t get rid of them that easily.  No one could.  And no one will.  

Like the Dirty Harry parody/homage that kicked off the show, another one played a la Bullit, with Nazir driving around San Francisco with the Television championship buckled up in the passenger side seat while he was chased by the likes of Fade, Jaspers, Animal and the College Park Family.  What he couldn't see was Mirror Mirror looking down on the chase on a rooftop through binoculars while Al was behind them on a computer typing coordinates furiously.  Scott Holmes told Naz to compromise, Naz said bullshit as you might expect - but will he even be TV champion after tonight?

| • Summer Rose [c] tld. “The First Lady of Fitness” Karyn Tisch-Warren (w/Scott Warren-Tisch) to retain the QCW WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP • | As you might have noticed for the past few weeks, several barnburners have crept up close to the 30 minute time limit including the Women’s World Tag Team tournament semi a couple of matches ago.

But this was the first one to hit the time limit, definitely the first of QCW's Quarantine Era and maybe the first time limit draw this century.  The challenger started out dodging Summer's attacks - walking around on the floor, ducking between the ropes, etc. - then used her husband as a shield to buy her enough time to blindside Rose and throw her into the barrier a couple of times.  KTW then unveiled several different types of backbreakers to wear Rose down.  Rose was able to fend off one Circuit Breaker attempt, but Karyn was smart enough to not only catch a Come Up attempt but to transition it into the elevated Texas cloverleaf Rose had fended off earlier.  As Rose was crawling to get to the ropes, Scott was on the outside and pulling the bottom rope away from Summer; the referee caught it and ejected him to a pop from the crowd.  Karyn got in the referee's face then turned around and blocked the Come Up with her face…but the force of it sent her between the ropes before Summer could grab her and try to pin her.  Summer actually tried to win by countout due to her FUBAR back, but Karyn saved the count at 9.  In the final five minutes, Karyn got a bunch of nearfalls and in the closing minute reapplied the Circuit Breaker.  Summer crawled for the ropes - but Karyn dragged the hold to the middle of the ring and screamed at Summer to give up.  Summer was screaming herself, and in the closing seconds alternated between punching herself (!) and biting her hand…but she survived the clock.  *** ½

Huge ovation for Summer, while Karyn lived up to her name and complained, first to the ref, then to her husband, then Steve & S. at the announce, and finally to the hard camera that she should be champion RIGHT NOW, dammit, and when she gets her rematch she'll ask for a sixty minute time limit so she can take the Women's World Championship and give it some class.  Interspersed with her whining were shots of the rest of Mean Season and the medical team helping Summer to the back while the announce wondered when and if Karyn would get a rematch.

TOTHEBACK~! where Enya Face welcomed the World TV Champion, Nazir el-Fadal.  Enya asked Nazir how he felt going into his defense up next against longtime rival Jupiter Jones, but he cut her off and said that Jones wasn’t a rival, since he’d never beaten the Triple Crown Jewel of QCW.  He heard the talk that Jupiter is QCW’s first Triple Crown winner, but that’s the man who’s standing here - the former QCW Champion, the uncrowned QCW World Champion (“they’ll tell you former, but whatever”), and the TV champion, at least for a few more weeks until he cashes it in and gets back what never should have been thieved from him.  Jupiter’s an all-time legend, the greatest man to ever hold two different QCW titles…so what does it make the man he can’t beat?  Mirror can get a gold star on their helmet and put a big shiny 1 next to their wins in a row column, because he hit that when he main evented and won this title at Cold As Hell and he hasn't looked back since. After that, he'll focus on the main event and see which man he's already beaten that he'll end up cashing in the TV title against.  "Don't concern yourself with cracked Mirrors or paper champions; look at the REAL World's Champion and make me King." The crowd booed as he smirked (you might be familiar with the concept).  Cue Arcarsenal.

| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal [c] d. QCW World Tag Team Champion Jupiter Jones to retain the QCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP • (7) | It was around this time last year that Naz had won the Worldwide Leader tournament to become the #1 contender and Jupiter was QCW Champion.  But last month in a six-man elimination match, Jupiter took advantage of Naz’s ego to pin him.  So while the rivalry isn’t at its hottest, it was still there, and it showed when both men engaged in a hockey fight right after the bell rang.  At one point Jupiter was laying in vicious knife-edge chops in the corner only for Nazir to come back with some hard European uppercuts in retort.  The match went back and forth as you might expect - Jupiter ducking under the MurderDiscusKill elbow to hit a Michinoku Driver for a near fall, Nazir ducking under a Jupiter handspring attempt (!) to come back with a springboard European uppercut that even got some begrudging praise from Starr, Naz being able to hit Thoughts and Prayers but Jupiter getting his foot on the bottom rope to keep the match going.  Jones hit his own Bass Drop and looked to put el-Fadal away with the Bolt From Olympus, only for Naz to counter with a vicious MDK elbow.  Jupiter staggered up into another one that sent him reeling into the corner, and the most vicious European uppercut of the match set up the finish – an avalanche WMDDT that not even Allah themself would have kicked out of.  *** ½  After the match, Naz greedily snatched up his title, but paused to put a hand on the fallen Jones’ shoulder and whisper something.  Whatever he said was lost to us; Naz rolled out of the ring and put the TV title on his shoulder, loudly and proudly proclaiming he only had 3 more defenses left to make the rabble’s worst nightmares reality again.

This Week In QCW History: back in 1991, former QCW Tag Team Champion “King” Berger passed away in a tragic car accident on his way to attend a show at the old Qualitorium.

Steve hyped up next week’s show - another Naz defense of the TV title, and a trios match with Luz Cruz, the Red Queen, & the champion Summer Rose against Karyn Tisch-Warren and Crowley and Spare from the Forbidden Book Club.  In addition, there could be some Pick Your Poison in play depending on the results of tonight’s main event: 

| • Mason “Razorblade” Savage d. Mayhem [c] in a non-title match to earn a title match at Golden Rule • | Keep in mind, Razorblade has been in this situation before - three months ago he had to beat Naz to get in the World Title match at Yule Be Sorry and did so, causing el-Fadal’s first loss.  And Mayhem barely squeaked out a title defense against These Hands a fortnight ago, scuttlebutt running wild that the Champ is more injured than he’s letting on but came back injured rather than forfeit the belt.  It was evident from the start that Razorblade had no problems going at Mayhem right off the bat, dominating the first couple of minutes.  After Razorblade knocked Mayhem to the floor, he sat on the middle ropes and opened them up for Mayhem to come in; Mayhem was clearly thinking about what to do next and what he ended up doing was pulling Razorblade by the leg, sort of making the ring apron give his “best friend” a low blow.  Steve mentioned as Mayhem threw some punches at Savage that he was clearly getting rattled by the crowd not loving him as much as they did Razorblade, while Starr noted that if Mayhem wanted to stay champion - something he knew a little something about - that he’d have to maintain this level of aggressiveness to hold onto the gold.  Given their longstanding history together, it was probably inevitable that they’d have each other scouted for long stretches of the match.  It looked as if Razorblade was going to win the match with the Soul Crusher, but Mayhem countered into a second rope Russian legsweep that made everybody lose their shit.  Mayhem went up for the senton bomb - Razor got his knees up - Mayhem faked the dive then hit it full on when Razor realized too late he wasn’t flying off - but Razor kicked out.  Mayhem was livid, questioning the ref, and rolled out to grab the World Championship.  He brought it into the ring and was clearly thinking about taking Razor’s head off with it, then decided to not.  (Was it because he’d get DQed and give Razor the match and title shot or was it him finally having a moment of conscience and letting his better angels win out?  The announce didn’t know and your mileage may vary.)  Mayhem handed the referee the title back with a warning, then got rolled into a small package.

Mayhem did kick out, and the two men exchanged rollups for the better part of a minute until Razorblade saw he had Mayhem pinned on a counter’s counter counter, took a look at the ref making the count – then figure foured his legs into the ropes while he had the jackknife cover to earn his shot at the World Title the same way Mayhem had earned the World Title.  Am I bumping this up a little because of the callback?  Yes.  Yes, I am.  ****

Crowd went nuts out of joy.  Starr went nuts cackling on commentary.  Mayhem went nuts because he got pinned.  (Shoutout to the one cut TOTHEBACK~! during the post-match: Nazir also going nuts cackling while watching a monitor.) Steve went nuts as the main event of Golden Rule is set, but this time if Razorblade pins Mayhem, no matter how he does it, he gets the World Championship he and his fans have been after for months.  As for the man himself?  He smirked his way up the aisle.  Bonus points if you guess the gesture he made around his waist.  As Mayhem continued reading the ref the riot act, the credits box came up and Steve hyped up Pick Your Poison next week - another Friday night where QCW will continue to bring the matriarch fornicating Ruckus!

Next: s1e21 Ruckus

QCW Ruckus [s1e19 • February 18th, 2022]

Last Week On Ruckus: QCW is heading to the Cow Palace for their next PPV, Golden Rule on March 12th with every title to be contested • Más Histeria won a triple threat match to earn a shot at the World Tag Team championships tonight • Mayhem returned and successfully/barely defended the World Title against “These Hands” Roy Fade, then exchanged a nod with his friend (?) Razorblade…

Pyro, but no ballyhoo - QCW fights on Friday nights and the only thing better than a fight is a title fight:

| • College Park Family [c] d. Más Histeria to retain the QCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS • | At Devil’s Night, Histeria beat former Family members (the newly monikered Hard Way) to claim the belts, which they dropped to Lucius & Jupiter at Yule Be Sorry - as seen in the opening highlight recap package, they won a triple threat match last week to get a rematch for the straps.  So it shouldn’t shock that this not only went three segments and crept up upon the 30-minute time limit, but was easily the best tag match in Ruckus history and maybe the best tag match of the Quarantine Era, full stop.  Opposed to usual Family matches, Jones was the one drawing the heat and getting his ass kicked for the majority of the match, Patton making multiple saves to save the titles.  After a couple of teases that had the crowd ready to jump the ref, Jones sluiced free of the former champions and tagged Patton in, who’s freshness and quickness was no match for the opposition.  End came when Patton hit his own Bolt From Olympus to set up the Bass Drop; Jones prevented interference on the pinfall, and the champs hold onto their belts another week.  *** ½  Histeria grumbled and winced their way up the aisle while the champs proudly held up their belts on the buckles, bathing in the “Collipark! (clap clap)” chants from the QCW faithful.  Good luck to the rest of the show trying to live up to this instant classic.

TOTHEBACK~! where Enya Face welcomed the QCW Women’s World Champion, Summer Rose.  Summer confirmed to Enya she’d heard all of Karyn Tisch-Warren’s talk over the past few weeks, but what KTW wasn’t talking about was the fact that the last time they were in the ring together, she went down to the Come Up.  So she can cut all the commercials she wants, do all the squats she wants, put up all the cute pictures on her site she wants – those are all things you can do when your time isn’t being taken up by being QCW’s longest reigning champion.  Next week, she shuts up Miss Fitness once and for all.

| • Party Animal d. Mirror Mirror • | Last week, QCW World TV Champion and self-proclaimed Once And Future King of QCW Nazir el-Fadal told Mirror that they would never get a shot at his belt as long as they only faced lower-caliber foes. Mirror took this as a challenge and they are now trying their luck against Party Animal, who is climbing up the card despite a loss to Jim “The Fury” Jaspers. 

Curiously, Mirror’s friend(?) “Tiki God” Al Buffett was nowhere to be seen. Tiki & Party were seen drinking together at Benjamin Valentino’s party last weekend. Could Mirror be jealous? Anyway, despite Tiki’s absence, Mirror was still accompanied by their other omnipresent sidekick, their microphone. 

“Fans, Stans, and Haters… The Champion of Chatter, Nazir el-Fadal has decreed that he will continue to duck me like Mayhem ducks him until I face competition that he deems worthy. If I must go through Party Animal like he goes through a case of Hard Seltzer, then so be it.”

Mirror runs down Party for being reckless, clumsy, and a danger to everyone he faces in the ring. They offer the mic to Party, hopefully so he can admit that he has a problem and make the first of 12 steps, but Party grabs the mic, pauses for a moment, and…

“BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!”

The crowd, which is probably ⅔ as drunk as Party, pops huge for that belch. Mirror immediately strikes Party in the head and the timekeeper rings the bell. Mirror is used to maintaining a level of control in their matches, but they could not come up with a workable strategy against the elusive Party Animal. Party clumsily swung at Mirror, and Mirror was able to play defense until seizing an opportunity to hit the Look Inward. Unfortunately, Party’s flop sweat made holding him in a grapple next to impossible, and Party oozed out of their hold. Party blows a White Claw Mist into Mirror’s eyes and hits an awkward, but effective spear. Party eschews 12 steps for a count of 3. This was a styles clash, but the marks were into it and the gimmicks meshed well, so I’ll call it * ½.

As Party stumbles to the back, Mirror just sits in the corner, obviously confused over what the hell just happened. 

From there, we cut from a close up of Mirror’s mask to a close up of Mayhem’s face with a black background behind him. The camera zooms all the way into his eye, and a rotating spiral pattern is projected in said eye. We then cut to a view of the iconic San Francisco skyline, and Mayhem jumping from roof to roof. He slips off of one roof, but catches himself on the rain gutter. As he looks down, the ground pulls further away from the viewer. We then cut to Mayhem jumping on boxes as part of his physical therapy from the car accident. As he jumps onto the box, he looks down, and once again, we see the floor pull away from the viewer. Finally, we cut to Mayhem in an empty Arena Quarantina on the top rope. He leaps off of the turnbuckle to deliver a splash to a sparring partner, but we then cut to a birds eye view of Mayhem as his silhouette spins and the ring is replaced with the same rotating spiral pattern we saw in his eye at the beginning of the vignette. 

As his silhouette disappears into the center of the spiral, the following caption pushes out towards the viewer: 

Party Animal was cracking open some celebratory Claw backstage when it was rudely slapped away from him by “the Fury” Jim Jaspers, who said he wanted a match against him next week.  Animal agreed, but asked why they should wait.  Jim smirked and said “Cheers.” then the next thing you know a hockey fight broke out.  As you might expect, security and some suits had to flood the scene before any more windows got damaged at the Arena.

Let Us Take You Back To Last Week, where Rich Ward overcame the International Workrate Consortium and wanted a shot at the TV title; in addition, let’s take you back to Nazir el-Fadal getting a DQ win over Mason “Razorblade” Savage thanks to some unlikely help(?) from Mirror Mirror to get him halfway to the ten defenses he’ll need to log in order to cash in the TV title for a shot at the World Title.

Long thought to be the workhorse of the Ward Brothers, Rich put up a hellacious fight in this one, gaining several near falls, and looked to have things put away when he went for the family cutter.  However, Naz had it scouted and reversed it out into a giant swing version of the cobra clutch (!) transitioned into the Thoughts and Prayers cobra clutch suplex.  A particularly nasty MurderDiscusKill elbow had Rich almost out on his feet, but Naz kept him from hitting the mat only so he could hit him with a running WMDDT that sealed the deal. ** ½

| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal [c] d. “The Wonderful” Rich Ward to retain the QCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (6) • |

Post match, Naz rolled out of the ring and got a chair, freaking out Steve who reminded everyone how the IWC had taken out Jason Ward a few weeks back.  But Naz “merely” opened the chair over Rich so the bar pressed down on his neck, and with the title in one hand and the mic in the other, cut a promo (as is his wont).  

He apologized to Mirror Mirror, since he’d previously suggested they couldn’t beat anyone noteworthy when the reality is after tonight they couldn’t even beat a drunk who just fell off their barstool.  What seemed to be a more heartfelt apology went out to an unlikely source - Mason “Razorblade” Savage.  Naz noted Razorblade had a fair shot at the TV title that Mirror, ever so desperate for approval from the main eventers, ruined.  Naz finally sees the truth: now Razorblade is getting screwed over by the same conspiracy that he is, all because Scott Holmes delusionally sees Mayhem as the chosen one.  Mayhem couldn’t beat Naz clean for his property, so we all know he’s not the best.  The rabble have chosen their champion, and we all know it’s clearly Razorblade.  And it’s not like Mayhem can beat Razorblade, either – Mason didn’t lose that triple threat, and Mayhem beat him in a battle royale, not a match, to get the title shot.  Face facts, rabble: if he’s not ducking Naz, he’s putting his “best friend” in the hospital and ducking him, too.  That’s your champion – not the REAL World’s Champion. “Until next time, rabble, I ask of you one simple request:

Make me king.”

Cue Arcarsenal, pissed off fans, and a sneering Nazir – but also a clearly rattled Vandeblanche, who noted that Nazir’s outlook was warped but he clearly raised some interesting points, while Starr rolled his eyes and said it was typical Naz.

TOTHEBACK~! once again, where Enya welcomed Crusazdo del Oro.  She started to ask him about his match tonight against Toddzilla, but quickly fled the scene when she saw Los Luchadores Locos approach.  Gran Atomico said something to Crusazdo in Spanish, who replied that if he was a disappointment to the raza and lucha libre, what’d it make the guys who just lost their title shot clean in the middle of the ring?  The crowd barely had time to “Oh, snap!” that one before Crusazdo found himself on the wrong end of a 3 on 1 beatdown, culminating in El Gato Negro lawn darting him into a vending machine.  Referees came to get rid of the black hats while the medical staff checked on Oro, putting his match later on tonight in jeopardy.

| • The Forbidden Book Club (Bonnie “Equinox” Agrippa & "the Goddess of Love" Shelley LaVey) d. Hell On Wheels (Block Solid & Jammerhead Shark) in a semifinal Women’s World Tag Team Title tournament match • | Hell On Wheels is one of the many units gunning for the Club, who’s gunning for total domination in the women’s division at the very least.  The former roller derbyists put up the fight you knew they would, but Agrippa & LaVey used their teamwork (as well as a cheapshot on the outside by Crowley unseen by the ref) to get the W. ** Agrippa/LaVey get the winners of next week’s Angel Twins v. Science Fiction Double Feature semifinal in the finals at Golden Rule.  The now-standard red lights special took the Club out of the ring.

On This Date In QCW History back in 1978, “Sweet” Curtis Jones won the QCW title off of Billy “Mud Stomper” Porter in front of a sold-out Qualitorium.  Yes, kids, that’s Jupiter’s dad.  

TOTHEBACK~! where Enya Face tried to interview the Forbidden Book Club, who instead of opting to cut a promo, circled Enya and cackled for a while before leaving.  Eagle-eyed viewers noted in the background that the Hard Way were briefly in the shot, saw the Club, and then remembered they left the dog open and hadn’t fed the stove.

| • Toddzilla d. Crusazdo del Oro • | Already banged up from getting jumped in the back earlier in the show, things got worse for Crusazdo when Toddzilla jumped him before the bell, throwing him into the steps once and the barricade twice.  The ref asked Crusazdo if he wanted to fight and he agreed to have the match.  He showed a lot of heart, but couldn’t get Toddzilla down for more than a short 2 at any point during the fight.  End came when Toddzilla crotched Oro on the top rope and gave him an avalanche powerslam then followed it up with There Goes Tokyo; as Toddzilla celebrated in the ring, the Luchadores Locos were seen watching it on a monitor backstage and laughing at Crusazdo’s plight. * ½ 

Back to the announce, where Steve noted that Toddzilla’s frequent tag team partner “These Hands” Roy Fade had been fined $25,000 and suspended from this week’s show for his actions last week (a little picture-in-picture while Steve talked showed Fade punching out the referee after narrowly losing a World Title match to Mayhem last Ruckus) but that the former World TV champion would be back in action next week facing off against longtime rival Mirror Mirror.  In addition to that there’s the Angel Twins/Science Fiction Double Feature Women’s Tag Team title semifinal that got discussed earlier as well as the Party Animal/Jim Jaspers rivalry continuing in a rematch, another defense of the TV title, and Summer Rose putting up the QCW Women’s World Title against the First Lady of Fitness Karyn Tisch-Warren.  A lot of show next week, but this week’s show started with an instant classic tag team match and may end that way, too…

| • The Immortals d. QCW World Champion Mayhem & Mason “Razorblade” Savage  • | Not quite an instant classic but a damn good TV match that ended in – well, I’m tempted to say an upset even though the Immortals are a long-standing tag team and Mayhem & Razorblade, while constantly in each other’s orbit, haven’t teamed that often, especially lately as they’ve branched out into singles successes.  Early on there was some noticeable frostiness between Mayhem & Savage when they were tagging in by practically open-handed chopping each other’s chests, but it was that period that gave the Immortals the control almost off the bat and forced the white hats to come together as a more cohesive unit.  Biggest pop in the match came from Razorblade & the Revenant having a strong style tradeoff mid-ring that ended when they both took each other out with simultaneous cross body blocks; ending seemed to come when Mayhem was looking for his signature senton bomb on Einhenjar but the Revenant threw Razorblade into Mayhem, forcing him into an unwanted 7-10 split on the top rope.  Savage fell to the outside as the Immortals quickly took advantage and hit Mayhem with Death’s Door to get the victory.  ***

After the match, the Immortals continued to stomp out Mayhem.  A loud, mixed reaction ensued as Einhenjar and the Revenant did this, followed by a huge pop as Razorblade recovered and started to go after them for going after his partner.  As these things tend to go, Razorblade was winning until he wasn’t, and the Immortals then started to stomp him out, too.  Mayhem had rolled to the floor by where Savage had been, but he had an entirely different reaction to the events in the ring: he grabbed his World Championship and started staggering to the back, crowd booing loudly as he left Razorblade to get got.  The Immortals checked to see if this was a feint, but Mayhem went behind the curtain – a few beats after he did, Razorblade got laid out by Death’s Door himself.  A loud and mixed reaction for the Immortals, but Einherjar & the Revenant don’t seem to care too much about the crowd’s opinion; based on the familiar gestures around their waists, They Want the Belts!

We’ll see you next Friday night once again when QCW continues to bring the Ruckus!

Next: s1e20 Ruckus

QCW Ruckus [s1e17 • February 4th, 2022]

 Last Week On Ruckus: the revamped International Workrate Connection not only beat the Wonderful Ward Brothers, but put Jason on the shelf for six to eight weeks, launching themselves into a shot at the World Tag Team titles tonight • Summer Rose successfully defended the QCW Women’s World Championship much to the disgust of Karyn Tisch-Warren •  Nazir successfully defended the World TV title against Crusazdo del Oro then tricked the crowd into thinking they were going to get Mayhem’s return…

Usual show open gave way to pyro and the usual suspects, who hyped our two title matches and the last first round match in the Women’s World Tag Team title tournament before being cut off by At the Drive-In’s “Arcarsenal.”  Nazir el-Fadal came out in gear (no WHERE IS MAYHEM? shirt), and commandeered the mic from the Duckster.  He was livid, LIVID he tells you rabble, since when he heard Mayhem’s music last week he assumed Mayhem was coming out and welcomed the fight, since Mayhem couldn’t beat him clean – of course, if Mayhem wanted to prove him wrong – put up Naz’s belt and Naz would put up the TV title – they could go champion vs. champion and settle this thing once and for all.  “So, Mayhem – if that is your real name – get your white trash ass out here so YOUR Triple Crown Jewel can shine as he’s supposed to.”

A referee came to the ring, and “Wish” hit – no Mayhem.  They replayed it, Mayhem no-showed again.  People were hopeful this time, though less so than last week, and Naz let out a familiar cackle before making the referee count to 10. Naz then declared himself the winner by forfeit.  If Mayhem was going to take all this time off for a couple of scrapes and bruises, then the REAL World’s Champion was done for the night; except, of course, he wasn’t: as he was heading to the back, Scott Holmes popped up on the Quarantron 3000 and stated that the “forfeit” wasn’t an official title defense, the TV Champion whoever they were couldn’t simply take off Ruckus, and that since Naz’s dance card was empty he’d take it upon himself to fill it for tonight’s main event.  Naz yelled at the Tron futilely after Holmes blipped out and the crowd cheered. 

FADE IN:

Exterior: It’s the golden hour (4pm) and we open up on a two-lane blacktop somewere in Middle America. We hear the opening piano notes of Jay-Z’s “Public Service Announcement (Interlude)” as a Blue 1967 Ford Mustang Convertible speeds down the highway. The instrumental plays throughout the vignette.  

Inside the car, we see two muscular men wearing jeans and wrestling t-shirts. The Driver is wearing Gothic Horror merch. The passenger is wearing Chrysalis merch. Both men are nodding their heads to the beat of the music.    

Cut to a close up of the the driver. Then cut to a rapid-fire montage of black and white clips of Orlok Murnau and Yung Choppa in the ring. Over the course of the montage a name will appear and a red line will go through it. 

CAPTION: ORLOK MURNAU

CAPTION: YUNG CHOPPA

Cut back to a close up of the driver. 

CAPTION: PAUL FIFITA

Now cut to a close up of the passenger. Another rapid-fire montage of Bram Teppesch and Killa Screw in the ring. Two more names appear, only to get crossed out with a red line during the montage. 

CAPTION: BRAM TEPPESCH

CAPTION: KILLA SCREW

Cut back to a shot of the passenger. 

CAPTION: JOHN GOODISH

Cut to Goodish & Fifita both in frame, rapping to one of the most iconic lines in Hip-Hop:

GOODISH & FIFITA (in unison): ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF!

Another rapid fire montage of the duo in the ring under their previous gimmicks of Gothic Horror and Chrysalis as they deliver their classic finisher of: Goodish/Murnau/Choppa electric chair, Teppesch/Screw/Fifita hitting a missile dropkick, and Goodish falling back with the bridge and pin. Another set of names to be redlined. 

CAPTION: GOTHIC HORROR

CAPTION: CHRYSALIS

Cut back to Goodish & Fifita rocking out to the music.

CAPTION: THE HARD WAY

Cut to the Mustang driving into the sunset. 

CAPTION: BACK FROM THE DEAD

CAPTION: BACK ON TRACK

CAPTION: BACK TO QCW 

CAPTION: NEXT WEEK.

Announce reacted to the vignette with shock, buzzing about how the former QCW World Tag Team champions were going to be back next week with a new attitude.  However, it’s Friday night and they’d gone too long on Ruckus without a fight, so a title one to start off the evening’s card proper would do juuuuust fine:

| • The College Park Family [c] d. The International Workrate Consortium (Stahl/Windsor w/Serge Batroc) to retain the QCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS • | There was a lot of online buzz that almost made the Serge-led IWC the favorites going into the match, with the Wards taking the champs to the limit at Cold As Hell.  Yet, while Jupiter Jones’ championship experience helped Lucius Patton when things got tough there were a handful of miscues between Stahl & Windsor, Serge almost ripping his hair out on the floor as Windsor’s lariat missed Patton and dropped Stahl like third period French, allowing the champs to put a button on things with Patton’s Bass Drop setting up a tag for Jupiter to finish off the Europeans with his Bolt From Olympus.  ** ½  The champs celebrated their way backstage while Serge berated and eventually slapped Windsor a couple of times.

Justine was walking backstage, when she heard her name being called.  She went around a corner and saw….Mirror Mirror & the Tiki God, helping themselves to some catering.  Mirror said they wished everyone could have the sort of fulfilling relationship between equals that they had with Al, and felt sorry for Justine.  Justine got her hackles up about this but Mirror noted that ever since the Polycule took in @smashleysmithofficial, she’s been getting all of Dom & Bobby’s time.  Hell, they even heard those scumbags went and watched Ozark without her.  That took her all the way to livid, especially since she’s been really good about avoiding spoilers.  We left the Odd Couple and followed Justine down the hall, where she kicked in the door for the Polycule’s locker room before throwing her bondage bracelet at Dom.  Open relationships are open relationships, but if they’re throwing away Netflix night because of @, then she was going to take some time for herself and stomped out.  Dom looked really hurt by this, at which point @ asked if he watched any shows without her.  He shook his head, then remembered – he did binge Yellowjackets in like, two sittings last week.  This made @ flip out, saying she’d been trying to get him to watch it but hadn’t because he said he wouldn’t, he noted when he said that he didn’t know Christina Ricci was in it.  They started yelling at each other, Bobby tried to play peacemaker with varying degrees of success and just outside the still kicked wide open door, Mirror & Tiki tapped sports drinks (not a metaphor).  Mirror laughed until they hurt themself, then added “Now isn’t this much more entertaining than the parking lot ambush you were planning?  You owe me an ice cream cone, big guy.”

| • The Angel Twins d. The Storybookers (Bella/Neverland w/Dorothy Rubyslipper) in a first round Women’s World Tag Team tournament match • | About the only thing missing from the Angel Twins is for their hometown to be listed as Room 237.  The former Crush stars dominated the match with the ‘Bookers on their heels a fair 80% of the match, eventually putting Bella D’Ball away with their Hands to God to earn a spot against Science Fiction Double Feature in the semifinals.  * ½  Dorothy, who almost won the tournament for the Women’s World Championship looked especially frustrated on the floor, and it’s safe to wonder given their history if the Storybookers have a long shelf life if they can’t find any traction as a unit even with a personnel change.

Announce noted from White Claw’s Twitter that they are still considering Party Animal as a spokesperson, thus ending our long national nightmare.

| • “the Island Flower” Luz Cruz d. “The Cauldron of Chaos” Nancy Crowley (w/Forbidden Book Club) • | Let Us Take You Back To Two Weeks Ago, where Cruz went for an Orihara moonsault that Crowley saved Spare from it and Cruz went careening into and onto the guardrail, as well as Back To Last Week where Cruz said it wasn’t going to change her stye and that she was still gunning to be QCW Women’s World Champ.  Plucky attitude from the boricua, who almost certainly came back too soon and found herself getting whomped by Crowley for 85% of the match as a result, Cruz narrowly avoiding getting pinned by both a spinebuster and a powerbomb down the match’s stretch.  Cruz started to rally but Crowley snuffed that out with a vicious short-arm lariat and went up top, then Cruz dodged the Third Eye Blinder diving headbutt and rolled her up with La Magistral to secure victory by a hangnail.  ** ½ 

Obviously, the Club reacted magnanimously to this narrow defeat, by which I mean they swarmed the ring and took turns laying Cruz out before hopping up to the buckles and cackling, at which point the lights flickered four times – but in gold.  The Club looked up askew and got their answer as Cruz’s longtime friend “Bollywood Diva” Sohla Patel ran down to the ring, Starr noting she had more guts than brains as she slid into the ring and went right after the Club, but 4 > 2 and the Club eventually started laying her out – only to look up at the crowd cheering that Hell On Wheels, their semifinal opponents, were coming out to make the odds evened up.  All 8 women fought for a couple of minutes, the tide turning when Patel went under the ring then threw Cruz a kendo stick, then some roller derby helmets to Hammerhead Shark & Block Solid.  The Club suddenly remembered that they’d left the cat open and hadn’t fed the door but forgot a Priestess in their rush; Spare got scares thrown into her by Wheels & Cruz before Patel spun her around and dotted her right between the eyes with a pair of brass knucks.  “TIMBERRRRRRRRRRR!” yelled Steve as Diana slowly became one with the mat.  The faces yelled down at the Club as they pulled Spare to the floor, Patel getting bleeped after saying she was tired of the Club.  

Enya Face was with Los Perros Locos, who spoke in Spanish and confused her and most of the audience.  Gran Atomico switched to English to note that Crusazdo del Oro not only lost last week to Naz but hasn’t gotten a win since signing with QCW.  He’s ruining the good name of lucha libre and being a disappointment to the raza, and that can’t stand in a dog-eat-dog world.  When Enya asked what that meant going forward, the rudos all laughed evilly and walked away.  

| • “These Hands” Roy Fade & Toddzilla d. “The Fury” Jim Jaspers & Party Animal • | While Fade certainly hasn’t endeared himself to the locker room, he & Toddzilla have had a brief off-again/on-again working relationship, which is probably what helped secured them the victory this week after going down to the Immortals last week.  Fade ran point for the black hats while the babyfaces, both eyeing an opportunity at making Naz eat his many words and take his championship, have turned into slowly boiling rivals, and that manifested here as well - Toddzilla and Jaspers were jockeying for position while Fade was complaining to the ref, and the Claw Mist intended for Todd blinded Jim.  Fade audibly yelled at Toddzilla to splat him, and splat him he did once he wiped PA off the apron, laying Jim out with a troika of There Goes Tokyo!s.  Fade demanded and got the tag, then hit Jaspers with the Decision for the victory; maybe Fade’s the one to get a rematch for the TV title after this.  **

After the black hats left, the recovering Animal tried to help Jim up, who shoved him away.  PA explained he was trying to help, Jim asked as if it was help like blinding him when he had things under control and shoved him again, Party Animal scoffed and shoved him back – 30 seconds later they were brawling like it was going out of style, the crowd having a mixed, loud reaction to this turn of events as we went to the final commercials (including one for K2 Circuit Training) for the evening.

Back from back?

Chaos.

TOTHEBACK~! where not only were the officials and suits unable to break up the brawl between Jaspers & Animal, Animal coming back from the European uppercuts thrown by Jaspers to blind him again (this time intentionally) with the Claw Mist.  Animal roared, got a running start, and speared Jaspers -

– right through the window to Scott Holmes’ office.

You are right in your “Holy shit!” chants.  

Obviously, this ended the fight, and the security & NPCs started gathering up Jaspers & Party to take them to the medical staff, hopefully at different intervals.

Holmes almost dropped a GD before Steve made a nice cough/save, and Holmes sat on his desk and noted that before that craziness happened, he had planned to make an announcement regarding the future of the QCW World Championship.  While Nazir wasn’t exactly being subtle since winning the title, his point was made, especially given the fact the TV Title was being defended weekly and 35 days into the year the World Title was still MIA.  So by order of his office, Mayhem would either be in Arena Quarantina next week defending that World championship, or he would be forfeiting it over.  

As for the other announcement – well, his office was wrecked and he wanted to start trying to get things back together.  He dropped out as Steve took over, hyping up another special two-hour Ruckus next week with limited commercial interruptions called All’s Fair.  With Holmes’ edict, both men’s singles titles would be determined - and there would be a fatal four-way to determine new #1 contenders to the World Tag Team championships - and there would be an eight-woman tag match featuring the semifinalists in the Women’s World Tag Team championship tournament, and more to come from that.  Steve encouraged the viewers to hit QCW’s site during the week for more updates as we went to the main event.

| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal d. “The International Lover” Benjamin Valentino to retain the QCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (4) • | For the second straight week a familiar face from Naz’s past showed up to spit in his metaphorical meal, as Valentino briefly stole the #1 contendership from Naz before Naz regained it, propelling him to beat Jupiter for the title last spring.  Never one to let a grudge not grow roots, Naz went after Benjamin hard from the bell and took his count to 4 multiple times (he usually runs a little bit cooler than that).  Valentino hung with Naz through two segments, even looking like he was going to score the title via Cupid’s Lock.  But once he went for that hold, something in Naz snapped - he avoided it with a series of vicious upkicks, then grabbed Benjamin’s arms and stomped out his face for almost half a minute straight, getting another reprimand from the referee.  Naz paused then did it again (Fade was probably having flashbacks in the back), then took Valentino home with the Hamrin Valley Driver & WMDDT.  ** ½

Naz scooped up Valentino and hit another WMDDT, then was going for another one before the referee stepped in.  Naz feigned compliance, then scooped Benjamin up and “accidentally” sent his legs into the ref before a third WMDDT.  Not content there, Naz slid out and grabbed a chair before placing it around Benjamin’s neck.  Wish came on the PA, causing audible groans, then it was cut off by music we hadn’t heard all year – the theme of Mason “Razorblade” Savage.  The crowd popped huge, but there was no Razorblade.  Naz went back to his increasingly familiar cackle, yelling at the audience that they were sheep so loud he didn’t even need to have a mic in his hand.  Savage’s music cut off, and Naz went up to the middle turnbuckle to possibly break Valentino’s neck when “Unscripted Violence” hit again.  Naz was right in the middle of an eye roll when he got shoved off by a man who ran in from the crowd, slamming side-first into the apron before a nasty spill to the floor in front of the announce.

THERE was Mason “Razorblade” Savage, the man some folks feel is the rightful TV Champ and, btdubs, the only man to beat Naz clean.  And he’s done it twice!  

Savage slid out to the floor and the crowd roared as he beat Naz like a rented goalie, eventually snatching Naz up and hitting him with an Air Raid Crush from the barrier through the announce table to get the evening’s second “Holy shit!” chant going.  Savage eventually made his way out of the wreckage and let out a feral roar so loud the crowd couldn’t even drown it out, and then he took a look over at the apron where the TV title was.  He looked at it, then held it in his hands and gazed deeply into it before slowly raising it overhead to QCW’s pop of the year so far.  With Starr wondering if he was suddenly a Razorblade fan, Steve continued to be pleasantly shocked at the Return of the Razorblade and got in some quick hype for All’s Fair.  We’ll see you next week for two limited-commercial-having hours when QCW brings the Ruckus once again!

Next: QCW Ruckus presents All's Fair