Last Week On Ruckus: The College Park Family beat Más Histeria in an instant classic to retain the World Tag Team titles • Nazir el-Fadal again successfully defended the World TV title and suggested that Razorblade was getting screwed over by the same conspiracy he was… • …even if that was hot air, Mayhem teamed with Razorblade against the Immortals in the main event, got pinned by Einherjar, then left Razorblade high and dry after Savage tried to make a save for him…
Not the usual opening - we, the viewer, were looking up at Mason “Razorblade” Savage in a vintage grey jacket/maroon vest combo, who pointed his index finger at the camera and intoned the following, occasionally interrupted by shots of him walking various San Franciscan rooftops:
I know what you’re thinking.
Was it a three count or only two?
To tell you the truth? I lost count myself in all the excitement. But being that this is the Soul Crusher, the most powerful finisher in QCW and will knock your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself one question: do I feel lucky?
Well?!
Do you – Mayhem?
QCW GOLDEN RULE
March 12th
Cow Palace
San Francisco
ALL the gold up for grabs.
Who’s gonna rule?
Now that we’re done screening Dirty Razorblade, roll the open, set off 20 seconds worth of pyro (!) and let Steve and S. welcome you to another edition of Ruckus - two more title matches tonight and a couple of grudges that might get settled tonight in other matches. A video package segued out of that, focusing on everyone competing for TV title shots, most specifically Mirror Mirror, “These Hands” Roy Fade, and the men competing in the opener who first butted heads when Jaspers accidentally cost Party Animal their title shot last month going after Naz himself.
| • Party Animal dco. “The Fury” Jim Jaspers • | Animal is slowly reasserting themselves as title shot worthy again, having bested Mirror last week with a pin - but two weeks ago took a trip down to Fury Road. Jaspers still hasn’t gotten a shot at Naz yet, but has been pretty dominant since coming back from maternity leave a few weeks ago. Crowd didn’t know who to root for and seemed to slide their favor based on whomever was getting their ass kicked at x point in the match. It went 50/50 and into two segments, ending when Party’s spear between the ropes took him and Jaspers to the floor; Party rolled in and while the ref checked on him, These Hands ran down and shoved Jaspers into the ringpost, then hid out of sight while The Fury got counted out. ** After that, Fade got into the ring and beat down the tired Party Animal, lining him up for then hitting the Decision. Crowd booed as Fade cackled, brushing some dirt off his shoulders before he left the ring.
After commercials, fire up nin’s “Wish” and the crowd was Not Pleased. The World Champion came out and looked hurt by the reaction he got, taking the microphone from Duck but opting to cut his promo on the ramp rather than in the ring. He’s heard the boos and seen everything everyone has been saying on social media about him “ditching” Razorblade last week (he, of course, got cut off by a big round of boos after saying this) but he didn’t become champion by playing nice. Everyone’s too busy joining Team Razorblade to note that he cost them the match against the Immortals, but as a champion Mayhem’s here to tell him that if he can keep his violent tendencies under control, who knows? He might learn to wield it to his advantage. Crowd booed lustily as Mayhem set down the mic, then roared when “Unscripted Violence” hit the PA to bring out the aforementioned Razorblade.
He opted to stay at the apex of the ramp, chuckling wryly before calling horseshit (getting bleeped as a result and another big pop from the crowd). Maybe the problem with his tendencies is that they haven’t been violent enough…or violent against the right people. Pointing at Mayhem while he said that got his point across, as did him saying that both Mayhem and Mirror Mirror have cost him the Television title and he was tired of it. So maybe there was a different championship he should be going after. Crowd roared again as Mayhem got offended, wondering how he could do this to his best friend? Razorblade noted he was wondering the same thing while he was laid up in the hospital watching Naz preen around with what should be his belt. So maybe they’re not best friends anymore; maybe they’re just the two best guys in QCW and should be fighting for the World Title since they are. Because while Mayhem was out here whining, Razorblade was in the back with Scott Holmes, and he gave up his golden goose real quick. So tonight’s main event is Mayhem v. Razorblade – don’t worry, CHAMP, non-title - but when Razorblade wins, he gets his first one on one shot at the World Title come Golden Rule. And when Mayhem’s in a hospital bed after that? It won’t be an accident. Crowd roared as Razorblade smirked before heading off to the back, while Mayhem’s face got a couple shades of red before he yelled out a “Fine!” and threw down the mic for good.
| • Science Fiction Double Feature d. The Angel Sisters in a semifinal Women’s World Tag Team championships tournament match • | The unlikely duo of Jane Doe & Cindy Monet found some unique chemistry starting in December at the Ascent to the Throne battle royale then formed this tag team. The Angel Sisters came over in the acquisition of Crush around this time, though all that brought these duos together was a desire to make the finals against the Forbidden Book Club. Match was a coin flip and came close to hitting the 30-minute time limit, but it ended when SFDF won as they had in the opening round, Monet’s Tightrope into Doe’s Standard Finisher. ** After the match, when the Features posed on the ropes signaling that They Want the Belts, the lights turned red and blinked four times as you might expect.
Steve passed along word from Scott Holmes that Razorblade was right: should he beat Mayhem in the main event tonight, he’ll get him one on one for the World Title at Golden Rule. But what he didn’t know is that should he win his match tonight, both he & Mayhem will Pick Your Poison next week and pick the other man’s opponent for that episode of Ruckus, a QCW first yet again. Dope.
| • Mirror Mirror d. “These Hands” Roy Fade • | A minor upset here given that Fade’s been on a roll since dropping the TV title to Naz at Cold As Hell last month and Mirror just got pinned clean by Party Animal on last week’s show. Also notable by his absence was one Tiki God; maybe that relationship’s already fizzled out somehow. Still, Mirror got their revenge for Fade pinning them in one of the quickest matches in QCW history on Christmas Eve and they did it as you might expect - they outthought Fade. They fought dirty when they had to, did some chickenshit stuff when they had to, and most importantly avoided the Decision. When Fade missed and went flying into the corner buckles, Mirror spent the rest of the match working over Fade’s leg and eventually trapping him in an STF. He made the ropes eventually but was diminished goods for the rest of the match and shockingly got caught by a WMDDT from Mirror that ended the match to oohs and applause from the faithful. ** ½ Mirror bathed in the crowd’s loud, mixed reaction post-match and told the hard camera that they weren’t done with the Champion of Chatter just yet. He couldn’t get rid of them that easily. No one could. And no one will.
Like the Dirty Harry parody/homage that kicked off the show, another one played a la Bullit, with Nazir driving around San Francisco with the Television championship buckled up in the passenger side seat while he was chased by the likes of Fade, Jaspers, Animal and the College Park Family. What he couldn't see was Mirror Mirror looking down on the chase on a rooftop through binoculars while Al was behind them on a computer typing coordinates furiously. Scott Holmes told Naz to compromise, Naz said bullshit as you might expect - but will he even be TV champion after tonight?
| • Summer Rose [c] tld. “The First Lady of Fitness” Karyn Tisch-Warren (w/Scott Warren-Tisch) to retain the QCW WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP • | As you might have noticed for the past few weeks, several barnburners have crept up close to the 30 minute time limit including the Women’s World Tag Team tournament semi a couple of matches ago.
But this was the first one to hit the time limit, definitely the first of QCW's Quarantine Era and maybe the first time limit draw this century. The challenger started out dodging Summer's attacks - walking around on the floor, ducking between the ropes, etc. - then used her husband as a shield to buy her enough time to blindside Rose and throw her into the barrier a couple of times. KTW then unveiled several different types of backbreakers to wear Rose down. Rose was able to fend off one Circuit Breaker attempt, but Karyn was smart enough to not only catch a Come Up attempt but to transition it into the elevated Texas cloverleaf Rose had fended off earlier. As Rose was crawling to get to the ropes, Scott was on the outside and pulling the bottom rope away from Summer; the referee caught it and ejected him to a pop from the crowd. Karyn got in the referee's face then turned around and blocked the Come Up with her face…but the force of it sent her between the ropes before Summer could grab her and try to pin her. Summer actually tried to win by countout due to her FUBAR back, but Karyn saved the count at 9. In the final five minutes, Karyn got a bunch of nearfalls and in the closing minute reapplied the Circuit Breaker. Summer crawled for the ropes - but Karyn dragged the hold to the middle of the ring and screamed at Summer to give up. Summer was screaming herself, and in the closing seconds alternated between punching herself (!) and biting her hand…but she survived the clock. *** ½
Huge ovation for Summer, while Karyn lived up to her name and complained, first to the ref, then to her husband, then Steve & S. at the announce, and finally to the hard camera that she should be champion RIGHT NOW, dammit, and when she gets her rematch she'll ask for a sixty minute time limit so she can take the Women's World Championship and give it some class. Interspersed with her whining were shots of the rest of Mean Season and the medical team helping Summer to the back while the announce wondered when and if Karyn would get a rematch.
TOTHEBACK~! where Enya Face welcomed the World TV Champion, Nazir el-Fadal. Enya asked Nazir how he felt going into his defense up next against longtime rival Jupiter Jones, but he cut her off and said that Jones wasn’t a rival, since he’d never beaten the Triple Crown Jewel of QCW. He heard the talk that Jupiter is QCW’s first Triple Crown winner, but that’s the man who’s standing here - the former QCW Champion, the uncrowned QCW World Champion (“they’ll tell you former, but whatever”), and the TV champion, at least for a few more weeks until he cashes it in and gets back what never should have been thieved from him. Jupiter’s an all-time legend, the greatest man to ever hold two different QCW titles…so what does it make the man he can’t beat? Mirror can get a gold star on their helmet and put a big shiny 1 next to their wins in a row column, because he hit that when he main evented and won this title at Cold As Hell and he hasn't looked back since. After that, he'll focus on the main event and see which man he's already beaten that he'll end up cashing in the TV title against. "Don't concern yourself with cracked Mirrors or paper champions; look at the REAL World's Champion and make me King." The crowd booed as he smirked (you might be familiar with the concept). Cue Arcarsenal.
| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal [c] d. QCW World Tag Team Champion Jupiter Jones to retain the QCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP • (7) | It was around this time last year that Naz had won the Worldwide Leader tournament to become the #1 contender and Jupiter was QCW Champion. But last month in a six-man elimination match, Jupiter took advantage of Naz’s ego to pin him. So while the rivalry isn’t at its hottest, it was still there, and it showed when both men engaged in a hockey fight right after the bell rang. At one point Jupiter was laying in vicious knife-edge chops in the corner only for Nazir to come back with some hard European uppercuts in retort. The match went back and forth as you might expect - Jupiter ducking under the MurderDiscusKill elbow to hit a Michinoku Driver for a near fall, Nazir ducking under a Jupiter handspring attempt (!) to come back with a springboard European uppercut that even got some begrudging praise from Starr, Naz being able to hit Thoughts and Prayers but Jupiter getting his foot on the bottom rope to keep the match going. Jones hit his own Bass Drop and looked to put el-Fadal away with the Bolt From Olympus, only for Naz to counter with a vicious MDK elbow. Jupiter staggered up into another one that sent him reeling into the corner, and the most vicious European uppercut of the match set up the finish – an avalanche WMDDT that not even Allah themself would have kicked out of. *** ½ After the match, Naz greedily snatched up his title, but paused to put a hand on the fallen Jones’ shoulder and whisper something. Whatever he said was lost to us; Naz rolled out of the ring and put the TV title on his shoulder, loudly and proudly proclaiming he only had 3 more defenses left to make the rabble’s worst nightmares reality again.
This Week In QCW History: back in 1991, former QCW Tag Team Champion “King” Berger passed away in a tragic car accident on his way to attend a show at the old Qualitorium.
Steve hyped up next week’s show - another Naz defense of the TV title, and a trios match with Luz Cruz, the Red Queen, & the champion Summer Rose against Karyn Tisch-Warren and Crowley and Spare from the Forbidden Book Club. In addition, there could be some Pick Your Poison in play depending on the results of tonight’s main event:
| • Mason “Razorblade” Savage d. Mayhem [c] in a non-title match to earn a title match at Golden Rule • | Keep in mind, Razorblade has been in this situation before - three months ago he had to beat Naz to get in the World Title match at Yule Be Sorry and did so, causing el-Fadal’s first loss. And Mayhem barely squeaked out a title defense against These Hands a fortnight ago, scuttlebutt running wild that the Champ is more injured than he’s letting on but came back injured rather than forfeit the belt. It was evident from the start that Razorblade had no problems going at Mayhem right off the bat, dominating the first couple of minutes. After Razorblade knocked Mayhem to the floor, he sat on the middle ropes and opened them up for Mayhem to come in; Mayhem was clearly thinking about what to do next and what he ended up doing was pulling Razorblade by the leg, sort of making the ring apron give his “best friend” a low blow. Steve mentioned as Mayhem threw some punches at Savage that he was clearly getting rattled by the crowd not loving him as much as they did Razorblade, while Starr noted that if Mayhem wanted to stay champion - something he knew a little something about - that he’d have to maintain this level of aggressiveness to hold onto the gold. Given their longstanding history together, it was probably inevitable that they’d have each other scouted for long stretches of the match. It looked as if Razorblade was going to win the match with the Soul Crusher, but Mayhem countered into a second rope Russian legsweep that made everybody lose their shit. Mayhem went up for the senton bomb - Razor got his knees up - Mayhem faked the dive then hit it full on when Razor realized too late he wasn’t flying off - but Razor kicked out. Mayhem was livid, questioning the ref, and rolled out to grab the World Championship. He brought it into the ring and was clearly thinking about taking Razor’s head off with it, then decided to not. (Was it because he’d get DQed and give Razor the match and title shot or was it him finally having a moment of conscience and letting his better angels win out? The announce didn’t know and your mileage may vary.) Mayhem handed the referee the title back with a warning, then got rolled into a small package.
Mayhem did kick out, and the two men exchanged rollups for the better part of a minute until Razorblade saw he had Mayhem pinned on a counter’s counter counter, took a look at the ref making the count – then figure foured his legs into the ropes while he had the jackknife cover to earn his shot at the World Title the same way Mayhem had earned the World Title. Am I bumping this up a little because of the callback? Yes. Yes, I am. ****
Crowd went nuts out of joy. Starr went nuts cackling on commentary. Mayhem went nuts because he got pinned. (Shoutout to the one cut TOTHEBACK~! during the post-match: Nazir also going nuts cackling while watching a monitor.) Steve went nuts as the main event of Golden Rule is set, but this time if Razorblade pins Mayhem, no matter how he does it, he gets the World Championship he and his fans have been after for months. As for the man himself? He smirked his way up the aisle. Bonus points if you guess the gesture he made around his waist. As Mayhem continued reading the ref the riot act, the credits box came up and Steve hyped up Pick Your Poison next week - another Friday night where QCW will continue to bring the matriarch fornicating Ruckus!
Next: s1e21 Ruckus
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