Last Week On Ruckus: the revamped International Workrate Connection not only beat the Wonderful Ward Brothers, but put Jason on the shelf for six to eight weeks, launching themselves into a shot at the World Tag Team titles tonight • Summer Rose successfully defended the QCW Women’s World Championship much to the disgust of Karyn Tisch-Warren • Nazir successfully defended the World TV title against Crusazdo del Oro then tricked the crowd into thinking they were going to get Mayhem’s return…
Usual show open gave way to pyro and the usual suspects, who hyped our two title matches and the last first round match in the Women’s World Tag Team title tournament before being cut off by At the Drive-In’s “Arcarsenal.” Nazir el-Fadal came out in gear (no WHERE IS MAYHEM? shirt), and commandeered the mic from the Duckster. He was livid, LIVID he tells you rabble, since when he heard Mayhem’s music last week he assumed Mayhem was coming out and welcomed the fight, since Mayhem couldn’t beat him clean – of course, if Mayhem wanted to prove him wrong – put up Naz’s belt and Naz would put up the TV title – they could go champion vs. champion and settle this thing once and for all. “So, Mayhem – if that is your real name – get your white trash ass out here so YOUR Triple Crown Jewel can shine as he’s supposed to.”
A referee came to the ring, and “Wish” hit – no Mayhem. They replayed it, Mayhem no-showed again. People were hopeful this time, though less so than last week, and Naz let out a familiar cackle before making the referee count to 10. Naz then declared himself the winner by forfeit. If Mayhem was going to take all this time off for a couple of scrapes and bruises, then the REAL World’s Champion was done for the night; except, of course, he wasn’t: as he was heading to the back, Scott Holmes popped up on the Quarantron 3000 and stated that the “forfeit” wasn’t an official title defense, the TV Champion whoever they were couldn’t simply take off Ruckus, and that since Naz’s dance card was empty he’d take it upon himself to fill it for tonight’s main event. Naz yelled at the Tron futilely after Holmes blipped out and the crowd cheered.
FADE IN:
Exterior: It’s the golden hour (4pm) and we open up on a two-lane blacktop somewere in Middle America. We hear the opening piano notes of Jay-Z’s “Public Service Announcement (Interlude)” as a Blue 1967 Ford Mustang Convertible speeds down the highway. The instrumental plays throughout the vignette.
Inside the car, we see two muscular men wearing jeans and wrestling t-shirts. The Driver is wearing Gothic Horror merch. The passenger is wearing Chrysalis merch. Both men are nodding their heads to the beat of the music.
Cut to a close up of the the driver. Then cut to a rapid-fire montage of black and white clips of Orlok Murnau and Yung Choppa in the ring. Over the course of the montage a name will appear and a red line will go through it.
CAPTION: ORLOK MURNAU
CAPTION: YUNG CHOPPA
Cut back to a close up of the driver.
CAPTION: PAUL FIFITA
Now cut to a close up of the passenger. Another rapid-fire montage of Bram Teppesch and Killa Screw in the ring. Two more names appear, only to get crossed out with a red line during the montage.
CAPTION: BRAM TEPPESCH
CAPTION: KILLA SCREW
Cut back to a shot of the passenger.
CAPTION: JOHN GOODISH
Cut to Goodish & Fifita both in frame, rapping to one of the most iconic lines in Hip-Hop:
GOODISH & FIFITA (in unison): ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF!
Another rapid fire montage of the duo in the ring under their previous gimmicks of Gothic Horror and Chrysalis as they deliver their classic finisher of: Goodish/Murnau/Choppa electric chair, Teppesch/Screw/Fifita hitting a missile dropkick, and Goodish falling back with the bridge and pin. Another set of names to be redlined.
CAPTION: GOTHIC HORROR
CAPTION: CHRYSALIS
Cut back to Goodish & Fifita rocking out to the music.
CAPTION: THE HARD WAY
Cut to the Mustang driving into the sunset.
CAPTION: BACK FROM THE DEAD
CAPTION: BACK ON TRACK
CAPTION: BACK TO QCW
CAPTION: NEXT WEEK.
Announce reacted to the vignette with shock, buzzing about how the former QCW World Tag Team champions were going to be back next week with a new attitude. However, it’s Friday night and they’d gone too long on Ruckus without a fight, so a title one to start off the evening’s card proper would do juuuuust fine:
| • The College Park Family [c] d. The International Workrate Consortium (Stahl/Windsor w/Serge Batroc) to retain the QCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS • | There was a lot of online buzz that almost made the Serge-led IWC the favorites going into the match, with the Wards taking the champs to the limit at Cold As Hell. Yet, while Jupiter Jones’ championship experience helped Lucius Patton when things got tough there were a handful of miscues between Stahl & Windsor, Serge almost ripping his hair out on the floor as Windsor’s lariat missed Patton and dropped Stahl like third period French, allowing the champs to put a button on things with Patton’s Bass Drop setting up a tag for Jupiter to finish off the Europeans with his Bolt From Olympus. ** ½ The champs celebrated their way backstage while Serge berated and eventually slapped Windsor a couple of times.
Justine was walking backstage, when she heard her name being called. She went around a corner and saw….Mirror Mirror & the Tiki God, helping themselves to some catering. Mirror said they wished everyone could have the sort of fulfilling relationship between equals that they had with Al, and felt sorry for Justine. Justine got her hackles up about this but Mirror noted that ever since the Polycule took in @smashleysmithofficial, she’s been getting all of Dom & Bobby’s time. Hell, they even heard those scumbags went and watched Ozark without her. That took her all the way to livid, especially since she’s been really good about avoiding spoilers. We left the Odd Couple and followed Justine down the hall, where she kicked in the door for the Polycule’s locker room before throwing her bondage bracelet at Dom. Open relationships are open relationships, but if they’re throwing away Netflix night because of @, then she was going to take some time for herself and stomped out. Dom looked really hurt by this, at which point @ asked if he watched any shows without her. He shook his head, then remembered – he did binge Yellowjackets in like, two sittings last week. This made @ flip out, saying she’d been trying to get him to watch it but hadn’t because he said he wouldn’t, he noted when he said that he didn’t know Christina Ricci was in it. They started yelling at each other, Bobby tried to play peacemaker with varying degrees of success and just outside the still kicked wide open door, Mirror & Tiki tapped sports drinks (not a metaphor). Mirror laughed until they hurt themself, then added “Now isn’t this much more entertaining than the parking lot ambush you were planning? You owe me an ice cream cone, big guy.”
| • The Angel Twins d. The Storybookers (Bella/Neverland w/Dorothy Rubyslipper) in a first round Women’s World Tag Team tournament match • | About the only thing missing from the Angel Twins is for their hometown to be listed as Room 237. The former Crush stars dominated the match with the ‘Bookers on their heels a fair 80% of the match, eventually putting Bella D’Ball away with their Hands to God to earn a spot against Science Fiction Double Feature in the semifinals. * ½ Dorothy, who almost won the tournament for the Women’s World Championship looked especially frustrated on the floor, and it’s safe to wonder given their history if the Storybookers have a long shelf life if they can’t find any traction as a unit even with a personnel change.
Announce noted from White Claw’s Twitter that they are still considering Party Animal as a spokesperson, thus ending our long national nightmare.
| • “the Island Flower” Luz Cruz d. “The Cauldron of Chaos” Nancy Crowley (w/Forbidden Book Club) • | Let Us Take You Back To Two Weeks Ago, where Cruz went for an Orihara moonsault that Crowley saved Spare from it and Cruz went careening into and onto the guardrail, as well as Back To Last Week where Cruz said it wasn’t going to change her stye and that she was still gunning to be QCW Women’s World Champ. Plucky attitude from the boricua, who almost certainly came back too soon and found herself getting whomped by Crowley for 85% of the match as a result, Cruz narrowly avoiding getting pinned by both a spinebuster and a powerbomb down the match’s stretch. Cruz started to rally but Crowley snuffed that out with a vicious short-arm lariat and went up top, then Cruz dodged the Third Eye Blinder diving headbutt and rolled her up with La Magistral to secure victory by a hangnail. ** ½
Obviously, the Club reacted magnanimously to this narrow defeat, by which I mean they swarmed the ring and took turns laying Cruz out before hopping up to the buckles and cackling, at which point the lights flickered four times – but in gold. The Club looked up askew and got their answer as Cruz’s longtime friend “Bollywood Diva” Sohla Patel ran down to the ring, Starr noting she had more guts than brains as she slid into the ring and went right after the Club, but 4 > 2 and the Club eventually started laying her out – only to look up at the crowd cheering that Hell On Wheels, their semifinal opponents, were coming out to make the odds evened up. All 8 women fought for a couple of minutes, the tide turning when Patel went under the ring then threw Cruz a kendo stick, then some roller derby helmets to Hammerhead Shark & Block Solid. The Club suddenly remembered that they’d left the cat open and hadn’t fed the door but forgot a Priestess in their rush; Spare got scares thrown into her by Wheels & Cruz before Patel spun her around and dotted her right between the eyes with a pair of brass knucks. “TIMBERRRRRRRRRRR!” yelled Steve as Diana slowly became one with the mat. The faces yelled down at the Club as they pulled Spare to the floor, Patel getting bleeped after saying she was tired of the Club.
Enya Face was with Los Perros Locos, who spoke in Spanish and confused her and most of the audience. Gran Atomico switched to English to note that Crusazdo del Oro not only lost last week to Naz but hasn’t gotten a win since signing with QCW. He’s ruining the good name of lucha libre and being a disappointment to the raza, and that can’t stand in a dog-eat-dog world. When Enya asked what that meant going forward, the rudos all laughed evilly and walked away.
| • “These Hands” Roy Fade & Toddzilla d. “The Fury” Jim Jaspers & Party Animal • | While Fade certainly hasn’t endeared himself to the locker room, he & Toddzilla have had a brief off-again/on-again working relationship, which is probably what helped secured them the victory this week after going down to the Immortals last week. Fade ran point for the black hats while the babyfaces, both eyeing an opportunity at making Naz eat his many words and take his championship, have turned into slowly boiling rivals, and that manifested here as well - Toddzilla and Jaspers were jockeying for position while Fade was complaining to the ref, and the Claw Mist intended for Todd blinded Jim. Fade audibly yelled at Toddzilla to splat him, and splat him he did once he wiped PA off the apron, laying Jim out with a troika of There Goes Tokyo!s. Fade demanded and got the tag, then hit Jaspers with the Decision for the victory; maybe Fade’s the one to get a rematch for the TV title after this. **
After the black hats left, the recovering Animal tried to help Jim up, who shoved him away. PA explained he was trying to help, Jim asked as if it was help like blinding him when he had things under control and shoved him again, Party Animal scoffed and shoved him back – 30 seconds later they were brawling like it was going out of style, the crowd having a mixed, loud reaction to this turn of events as we went to the final commercials (including one for K2 Circuit Training) for the evening.
Back from back?
Chaos.
TOTHEBACK~! where not only were the officials and suits unable to break up the brawl between Jaspers & Animal, Animal coming back from the European uppercuts thrown by Jaspers to blind him again (this time intentionally) with the Claw Mist. Animal roared, got a running start, and speared Jaspers -
– right through the window to Scott Holmes’ office.
You are right in your “Holy shit!” chants.
Obviously, this ended the fight, and the security & NPCs started gathering up Jaspers & Party to take them to the medical staff, hopefully at different intervals.
Holmes almost dropped a GD before Steve made a nice cough/save, and Holmes sat on his desk and noted that before that craziness happened, he had planned to make an announcement regarding the future of the QCW World Championship. While Nazir wasn’t exactly being subtle since winning the title, his point was made, especially given the fact the TV Title was being defended weekly and 35 days into the year the World Title was still MIA. So by order of his office, Mayhem would either be in Arena Quarantina next week defending that World championship, or he would be forfeiting it over.
As for the other announcement – well, his office was wrecked and he wanted to start trying to get things back together. He dropped out as Steve took over, hyping up another special two-hour Ruckus next week with limited commercial interruptions called All’s Fair. With Holmes’ edict, both men’s singles titles would be determined - and there would be a fatal four-way to determine new #1 contenders to the World Tag Team championships - and there would be an eight-woman tag match featuring the semifinalists in the Women’s World Tag Team championship tournament, and more to come from that. Steve encouraged the viewers to hit QCW’s site during the week for more updates as we went to the main event.
| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal d. “The International Lover” Benjamin Valentino to retain the QCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (4) • | For the second straight week a familiar face from Naz’s past showed up to spit in his metaphorical meal, as Valentino briefly stole the #1 contendership from Naz before Naz regained it, propelling him to beat Jupiter for the title last spring. Never one to let a grudge not grow roots, Naz went after Benjamin hard from the bell and took his count to 4 multiple times (he usually runs a little bit cooler than that). Valentino hung with Naz through two segments, even looking like he was going to score the title via Cupid’s Lock. But once he went for that hold, something in Naz snapped - he avoided it with a series of vicious upkicks, then grabbed Benjamin’s arms and stomped out his face for almost half a minute straight, getting another reprimand from the referee. Naz paused then did it again (Fade was probably having flashbacks in the back), then took Valentino home with the Hamrin Valley Driver & WMDDT. ** ½
Naz scooped up Valentino and hit another WMDDT, then was going for another one before the referee stepped in. Naz feigned compliance, then scooped Benjamin up and “accidentally” sent his legs into the ref before a third WMDDT. Not content there, Naz slid out and grabbed a chair before placing it around Benjamin’s neck. Wish came on the PA, causing audible groans, then it was cut off by music we hadn’t heard all year – the theme of Mason “Razorblade” Savage. The crowd popped huge, but there was no Razorblade. Naz went back to his increasingly familiar cackle, yelling at the audience that they were sheep so loud he didn’t even need to have a mic in his hand. Savage’s music cut off, and Naz went up to the middle turnbuckle to possibly break Valentino’s neck when “Unscripted Violence” hit again. Naz was right in the middle of an eye roll when he got shoved off by a man who ran in from the crowd, slamming side-first into the apron before a nasty spill to the floor in front of the announce.
THERE was Mason “Razorblade” Savage, the man some folks feel is the rightful TV Champ and, btdubs, the only man to beat Naz clean. And he’s done it twice!
Savage slid out to the floor and the crowd roared as he beat Naz like a rented goalie, eventually snatching Naz up and hitting him with an Air Raid Crush from the barrier through the announce table to get the evening’s second “Holy shit!” chant going. Savage eventually made his way out of the wreckage and let out a feral roar so loud the crowd couldn’t even drown it out, and then he took a look over at the apron where the TV title was. He looked at it, then held it in his hands and gazed deeply into it before slowly raising it overhead to QCW’s pop of the year so far. With Starr wondering if he was suddenly a Razorblade fan, Steve continued to be pleasantly shocked at the Return of the Razorblade and got in some quick hype for All’s Fair. We’ll see you next week for two limited-commercial-having hours when QCW brings the Ruckus once again!
Next: QCW Ruckus presents All's Fair
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