Slight modifications to the show open, with more Forbidden Book Club, Winter Wonderland and hey, Serge Batroc before pyro and ballyhoo; over to the desk with the usual suspects who’re hyped for Cold As Hell this Sunday Sunday SUNDAY live on PPV and the PPV-level worthy main event tonight: Nazir el-Fadal, ahead of his street fight title shot in Toronto teams with fellow former champions Gothic Horror to go against the QCW Tag Team Champions the College Park Family and the QCW World Heavyweight Champion Mayhem in an elimination trios match! In addition to that–
–the feed started breaking up
–-got static-y
–and then looked like we hit the Great White North two days early, as the CN Tower was bathed in a series of small round white lights, then we heard a voice unheard on QCW television before say “It took us a long time to get here.” After a few beats, another similar voice chimed in “Sure did, brother.”
This was the setup/introduction to possibly Canada’s current greatest tag team, the Wonderful Ward Brothers, Rich and Jason. They talked about falling in love with Stampede and wanting to do that for a living, and even though they took their bumps and bruises (footage played from various years of them evolving from kids in the backyard to rookie pros to their first tag title victory back in ‘15 all the way up to them capturing gold last summer in the Manitoba Wrestling League), there’s nowhere they’d rather be on a beautiful night than Toronto. But QCW knows a little something about that, right? They’re coming to their backyard Sunday, eh?
Jason took off his sunglasses (at night, no less) and pretended to look out over the horizon, saying that they thought they could see the College Park Family from up here. Rich let out a bark of a laugh at his little brother’s joke, then chimed in that if there was going to be tag team wrestling in the 6, hell, anywhere in Canada, then that meant everyone’s lives were going to get a lot more Wonderful. Well, except for the College Park Family, who would be leaving Canada 8 pounds lighter than they left it. Jupiter’s a legend, we all already know that. Patton’s a talented kid who might be able to jump up here off of a running start. But that doesn’t make them a tag team - YEARS of togetherness (“whether you want it or not” chirped in Jason) makes great tag teams, and makes great tag team champions. So hopefully tonight’s main event doesn’t do too much lasting damage, because in 48 hours the Wonderful Ward Brothers are coming to QCW to add another pair of tag belts to their legacy and get them around the waist of a REAL family. As the vignette broke up again, Jason said “I hope you get this view from the top someday. Who knows? Maybe it’ll happen Sunday night, eh?"
“Technical difficulties” resolved, the announce raved over the Wards being part of the new wave of talent wanting to come aboard QCW’s bandwagon. The Wards are coming into the tag division, but the first Ruckus of the year would open up with one man getting closer to being crowned QCW’s first Television Champion (hey guess where and when)!
| • Mason “Razorblade” Savage d. Anton “Teknik” Stahl (w/”King Carny” Richard Windsor) to win a QCW Television Title tournament semifinal • | Savage came out sporting some slightly recovering facial burns, courtesy of Naz’s fireball after last week’s main event. Windsor kept looking over his shoulder on his way out, with Stahl sort of having to keep him in line. A post-match handshake after the bell rang was offered by Stahl & Savage took it; that kicked off a (surprisingly?) clean but stiff, hard-fought match. Stahl had control going into and out of the commercial break, focusing on the arm as you might expect. Post commercials, Serge Batroc came out but opted to watch from the ramp as Savage got back into things using his power game. Even with the opposite striking arm, it turns out a well-timed rolling elbow will drop anyone like a bad habit, and while Stahl got a hand on the ropes to survive the count, he was disoriented the rest of the match and eventually got put away with the Soul Crusher. Mason gets the winner of Fade/Party Animal later on tonight for the belt on Sunday; Serge shook his head (in disappointment?) before heading to the back. ** ½
On This Week in QCW History: “Cowboy” Jack Powers won the Duquesne Classic in 1974.
| • Los Caballeros d. Toddzilla in a handicap match • | The luchadores cut a pre-taped promo, presumably done so that they could be subtitled. They had tasted humiliation at Toddzilla’s hands but those days were done. It turned out they were…actually right. Well, they wouldn’t have won on points or anything until the match’s last couple of moments, but after Toddzilla missed a corner avalanche then hit the post, los Caballeros uncorked six (!) combined superkicks (the last two tandem) set them up for an almost synchronous Shooting Star Press from Verde and frog splash from Blanco. Ironically enough, he kicked out at what would have been 5. Los Caballeros quickly got out of snatching range before celebrating their victory on the ramp, leaving Toddzilla to chokeslam the hapless referee in retribution. That’s a fine. * ½
| • "Tiki God” Al Buffet & Mirror Mirror d. @smashleysmithofficlal & Dom DeSade • | Al & Mirror are friends and maybe more after their match last week, though everyone is keeping tight lids on whatever that relationship actually counts as. Mirror got on the mic pre-match to tell @ that while she probably didn’t care what they thought anymore, all the filters in the world wouldn’t make the clown emoji she’s with a thirst trap (they looked over to Al to make sure they said that right, and he nodded). Dom actually dominated Al for the brief moments he was in the ring, but @ kept tagging herself in, then getting punked out by Mirror. After the last time, @ threw a full on tantrum ringside, ripping up the ringside mat and kicking at the stairs, distracting Dom enough to be left open for an Al flying DDT that secured the win for Team It’s Complicated (they’ll probably get some kind of official name eventually should they stay together). **
While the show isn’t until Sunday, the Immortals were shown lighting up Toronto: hitting the goth clubs in a hearse, silently taking in a Maple Leafs game from the front row, absolutely housing some Tim Horton’s, before sitting on a tombstone behind a freshly made grave in the Necropolis Graveyard and intoning they lived every day as if it were their last. Obviously, they have no fear of death. Can QCW’s tag division say the same? They both dismounted from the tombstone and walked away, the words GOTHIC HORROR and their deceased date being 2022 prominent.
| • The First Lady of Fitness” Karyn Tisch-Warren (w/Kevin Warren-Tisch) & Lolo Vuitton d. “Island Flower” Luz Cruz & QCW Women’s Champion Summer Rose • |
Vuitton & former Crush champion Cruz are facing off on Sunday’s preshow; fellow former Crush champ Tisch-Warren gets her shot at Rose for the title after beating Cruz with help from her husband a couple of weeks ago. He also helped out early on as he handed Karyn a hydroflask to drink from after she successfully hit an underhook backbreaker; when the referee complained, Vuitton got the zebra’s attention and KTW slammed it into Cruz’s head then feigned ignorance. At least this time when he tried the towel-holding-down-my-wife’s-feet-on-the-ropes trick later on, he was caught and ejected. In the end, despite some bickering during the match, the black hats took home the W when Vuitton feinted coming into the ring after Rose hit the Come Up on KTW, then when the referee had their attention occupied by Cruz trying to get in, blasting Rose with the Bloody Shoe and letting Karyn roll over for the BS win while she took out Cruz with a cheap shot that sent the Island Flower into the barricade. ** Post match, Karyn celebrated as if she had already won the title, drawing her husband out for a somehow even more obnoxious celebration that they eventually asked Vuitton if she wanted to join in on; Vuitton scoffed, rolled her eyes and left.
In the Haunted Library, the Forbidden Book Club fumed underneath red lights. They also cursed the Storybookers ahead of Sunday night, shaved Equinox’s humilimullet into a pretty bad-ass looking Mohawk (dyed red, duh doi), cursed the Storybookers ahead of Sunday night, then put their hands on each other’s shoulders before almost cracking all their heads into a right angle to look at the camera and intone lowly “There’s no happy ending to this tale. This. Is. WAR.” Cackling. Man, was there ever cackling.
| • Roy “These Hands” ds. Party Animal to win a QCW Television Title tournament semifinal • |
Well, poor Party Animal already came in handicapped thanks to Dom’s workover a couple weeks ago in the quarterfinal match, and Fade was already pissed after Animal stole a pin on him in the fatal fourway of last main’s event and the way Mirror had chumped him out the week before that. Fade shut down Animal’s early offense with a knee to the gut that almost had PA coughing up blood, and no amount of Claw could save him from Fade’s ground and pound or crossfaces. Fade put the Animal down with a rear naked choke to get his spot in the finals on Sunday night. * ½ After the match, Fade reapplied the RNC on Animal and looked to have him set up for the Decision, only for Mason “Razorblade” Savage to make the save and clear the former mixed martial artist from the ring. Savage swore, Fade smirked and made the sign for a belt around his waist, and one of these men walks into next week QCW’s first-ever Television Champion – 10 successful title defenses away from cashing it in for a shot at the World Title.
Inside the steel cage, the Storybookers tested it. Almost caressed it. Wendy’s smirk got bigger by the moment as the Storybookers went over all the crap they’ve had to eat in the past year when they built the women’s division as QCW knows it. For a bunch of bottle brunettes to take away what they had rebuilt? They didn’t have the ovaries. And in this steel, there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no spells to cast, no nineties movies to draw inspiration for. The Storybookers favorite movie? Lately, it’s been the Wizard of Oz – and at this point, Winter Wonderland came into frame alongside them, sneering “I just LOVE when the witch dies at the end. And come Sunday, here in WarGames?
The same thing is going to happen to you bitches that happens to all witches in fairy tales.”
| • QCW World Heavyweight Champion Mayhem & QCW Tag Team Champions the College Park Family d. “The One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal & Gothic Horror in an elimination match (one survivor) • |
Two Cold As Hell matches for the price of one in the main, with the additional bonus action of this not being a regular trios match but an elimination match that can only end with one of the teams all being taken out. Given the fact the Naz/Mayhem rivalry has literally been going on for a year and the competing tags have for a season plus, contentious is probably the word you’re thinking of to describe this. No one had love for any of their opponents, but as you might expect things got a little bit spicier when a straight up rivalry was happening in the ring versus say, Mayhem/Orlok. To be fair, the first elimination in the match happened off of that, with the champion pinning Orlok in the second segment after his senton bomb (3-2, good guys). Nazir immediately inserted himself into the match and went after Mayhem, and neither man tagged out over the next few minutes as they went one on one with ferocity, both men almost getting DQed a couple of times. Nazir got the better of the exchange and shockingly made Mayhem the first elimination off of his team; he was able to do so because he had his feet on the ropes in his corner with Bram holding his legs down for leverage, but hey (2-2 tie).
That caused Lucius Patton to come into the match, looking for revenge after Naz trucked him a few months ago on this very program. Patton held his own and then got the better of the former QCW World Champion before tagging Jupiter Jones to come in after Naz - not like they have any history or anything, right? - and things sort of slightly settled down into something resembling a tag match, the difference being the black hats’ staplegunned team together against the reigning champions. The champions had more fluidity but the black hats had more tricks up their sleeve, Naz able to duck a shot that Jones wasn’t, and a distraught Patton was easy prey for not only Thoughts and Prayers, but el-Fadal’s notorious WMDDT to make it 2-1 bad guys. With Jones easy picking on the floor and their opponents down to their last man, Nazir and Bram had fun for the next few minutes tagging in and out, Nazir even at one point mockingly going to the opposite corner and pounding the top turnbuckle only to give Jones a hangman when he staggered over that way to make a tag to a teammate he no longer had. Bram dropped Jones, and Nazir cackled before running around the ring and yelling at the Gothic Horror enforcer for the tag. Despite the grave look on Bram’s face when he slapped Naz in the chest, el-Fadal got his tag – and walked right into a small package. Life’s real simple, Naz. Don’t play yourself. Don’t play yourself. CONGRATULATIONS, etc. (tied)
It came down to Bram v. Jupiter, and while Bram got a few nearfalls Jones used the crowd’s undying support to survive them and eventually get the upper hand, winning the match by not only delivering his signature Bolt From Olympus but following it up with his own Bass Drop (I’m sure he’ll owe Lucius a beer for that one) to get the shocking win and complete the comeback for the babyfaces. *** 1/2
Lucius came from the back and celebrated with Jupiter, before their old friends Gothic Horror came out and started going after them.
Lights out.
Killed By Death.
Lights on.
Hello, the Immortals! The crowd got noisy upon Einherjar and the Revenant making their presence known, then started to roar as they drove Gothic Horror from the ring. The former champions recovered and fumed on the floor as the current champions offered handshakes to the newcomers…only to get dropped by them in short order. You can retroactively add a needle scratch if you like. The Immortals got the upper hand and started advancing towards the tag titles – only to find themselves in another brawl with Gothic Horror, which
Lights out again?
Kenny Powers (?!) saying “Goddamn, I’m shitting gold these days!” giving way to Soulja Boy and more importantly Aubrey Graham yelling out triumphantly “We made it!” The lights began to flicker in alternating red and white before one last blinding white light (go off) settled the ambience--and introduced the QCW audience to the Wonderful Ward Brothers live and in the flesh, who immediately went after the Immortals to the increasing joy of the crowd. While they couldn’t do the job on their own, with some help from Gothic Horror the Immortals were sent packing - GH & the Immortals brawling through the crowd as Rich offered a handshake and hand up to Lucius.
Right before Jason leapt up and drilled Jupiter with a cutter, completely deflating the crowd. Rich looked at his brother probably confused and definitely pissed before Lucius went after Jason - obviously he was going to come out on the bad side of a 2 on 1, the Wards eventually unveiling their doubleteam Dynamic Express to a mixed but LOUD reaction. Jason picked up one of the QCW Tag Title belts and admired it, Rich telling him to put it back by the champions. Jason took a couple of beats to do so, but did. Cue We Made It once again as the Wonderful Wards headed back up the ramp having bookended the show; World Title street fight! Tag title match! TV title tourney finals! All this and more from the 6 on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY at Cold As Hell! You better be dead or in jail to miss this one, and if you’re in jail, break out!*
