We open with a video package of Nazir El-Fadal sitting in a steel chair in front of a cozy fireplace scene that is obviously green screened. He is wearing a Santa hat and an ugly green and red christmas sweater that has the pattern of a championship belt above the waist. He is carrying an oversized leather-bound book gimmick that has “Twas Five Minutes Before Ruckus” on it in gold letters. He clears his throat and begins to read aloud:
“Twas five minutes before Ruckus, and all through the fed,
All the smarks were on Twitter, sans partners in bed;
The wrestlers were stretching and lacing their boots,
While arguing with agents about spots and worked shoots;
When into the arena there rose such a clatter,
The hard camera turned to see what was the matter;
When what to the rabble’s dull eyes should appear,
But the greatest of all, One Man Jihad, Nazir! (winks at camera)
Now Mayhem! Now Savage! Now Party! Now Mirror!
I can’t find a way to make this much clearer;
You’ll all fall to me come 2022,
Merry Christmas to Me! And Just Me! Now SHOO!!!”
(roll opening, shot of crowd, Starr and Van de Blanche at ringside, on with the show)
| • Mason “Razorblade” Savage d. “The One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal in a first round TV title tournament match • | el-Fadal jumped Savage during his entrance, their rivalry really fueled up over the past few months by Savage being the first person to beat him clean and them sort of cancelling each other out at Yule Be Sorry culminating in Mayhem retaining the World Championship.
They didn’t even get in the ring for the first three minutes, brawling around ringside with both men sending their opponent into the steps at different points. Savage exposed a turnbuckle, then Nazir did as well; after that, both men escalated to grabbing chairs. The referee settled them down from using the weapons and called for the bell, at which point a hockey fight broke out to the roar of the crowd. Naz was throwing hard European uppercuts and Savage was matching him with forearms.
Throughout the first segment it went back and forth, both men utilizing four counts to the referee’s frustration multiple times. Nazir got the advantage by catching Savage coming in for a corner splash with a big leg lariat, and he spent the next few moments working over the head and neck of his rival. Savage got the advantage by backdropping Nazir over the top ropes (el-Fadal also hitting the apron with his ribs on the way down) and then following it up with a high speed tope between the middle and bottom rope before tossing Naz in and drilling him with a lariat for 2. Savage was working a cobra clutch back from commercials that Nazir eventually got out of, and a rope running sequence lead to Naz hitting an Air Raid Crush in the middle of the ring but being too worn down to follow up. Savage survived the Hamrin Valley Driver, Nazir got his foot on the ropes after a slingshot Lungblower, and both men were down after they went for simultaneous crossbody blocks in the third segment (!). The match ended when Nazir went for a Thoughts and Prayers, and Razor tried to mule kick himself loose. Naz took a jump back to avoid it, but it loosened his grip on the cobra clutch, and Razor rolled him forward - right into an exposed turnbuckle - leaving him easy prey for the Soul Crusher. Savage will now get Anton “Teknik” Stahl in the semis. ***
As Nazir recovered, "the Fury" Jim Jaspers came out, scoffed and offered up a sarcastic “See you down the pub, Nazzie!’ before leaving.
| • Roy “These Hands” Fade d. Mirror Mirror in a First Round TV Title Tournament match • | Mirror Mirror’s hot streak over the last few weeks went cold as they came down to the ring, mike in hand, towards a waiting Fade. They laid into him about being “another MMA washout slumming it in a wrestling ring.” They brought up his 3-6 record and suggested that they thank him “for sparing him another humiliating defeat in the Octa…” Fade hit them with a right hook to the temple before they could finish the sentence. These Hands hits The Decision and rolls them up for the 1-2-3. On commentary, Starr just laughs. SQUASH.
Post match, as These Hands was getting his arm raised in victory, the sound of an outgoing voicemail message from Dana White echoed thru Arena Quarantina, and the Quarantron showed an image similar to those that you see on the news when they play a 911 call, with a still picture of UFC Head Dana White in one corner of the screen, and a still of These Hands in the opposite corner. From there, the audience hears multiple voice messages from Fade to White asking about a spot on the next UFC card, each message sounding increasingly desperate. As Fade looks around confused, Mirror makes their way up the ramp. They make a gesture as if they are putting themselves in a headlock and tapping out on their shoulder.
| • | • | • Don't forget to order your copy of the Best of QCW 2021 from QCWStore.com OR sign up for FITE with discount code #AndStill to get 10% off an annual subscription! • | • | • |
Back from commercial, The Red Queen (formerly Dorothy Rubyslipper) and Wendy Neverland are standing in the ring, which is now adorned with white chiffon and lace. The Queen is wearing a red ball gown and the tiara that Mirror gave her at Yule Be Sorry. She is carrying a scepter. Wendy has on a green prom dress and elbow-length gloves. Both are still wearing elbow and knee pads and wrestling boots. It’s kinda hot. Anyway, the ramp now sports a red carpet that leads to the ring.
Dorothy: Welcome to QCW’s WINTER FORMAL!!! As your new queen, It is my duty and privilege to invite you all to the Royal Coronation ceremony. With no further ado, let me introduce to you the new Storybookers princess: Bella Di Ball!
The former Bella Bathory walks down the ring doing the royal wave. She is wearing a black prom dress with a red, sequined sash that says Storybook Princess, as well as the pads and boots. Wendy holds the ropes open for her. Her Majesty leaps over the ring ropes and heads to the announce table, where Van De Blanche hands her another tiara. She slides back into the ring. Bella kneels so Red can place the tiara on her head. Red then takes the scepter and “knights” Bella. Bella gets up and takes the mic.
Bella: “My loyal subjects, let me say that I am honored to serve as your Storybook Princess. I’ve loved books since I was a child, and I look forward to giving you all moments to tell your children about, and your children’s children. But do not be fooled by the tiara and this very flattering dress. Inside this Beauty beats the heart of a…”
The lights turn red and blink four times. Then the arena goes dark for a second. When the lights come back to normal, the three fairytale heroines are standing on a pentagram of red paint(?) and the quartet they call the Forbidden Book Club appear on the screen, faces clustered together like four people trying to get into frame on a Zoom call.
Nancy Crowley: Just Call us “The Bitches Who Stole Christmas!”
Diana Spare: With this circle we bind you all!
Crowley: You are bound to lose every time you step into the ring!
Equinox: Bound to fade from the public eye!
Shelly La Vey: Now, like any old, dusty books we’re done with, its time to put you…
In Unison: Back on the shelf!!!
(The coven laughs evilly as the Quarantron goes off. Suddenly, Gothic Horror runs to the ring and furiously rips the decorations down. They rip the crowns from the heads of Red and Bella throw them to the ground and stomp on them, as the trio look on in shock. They leave the ring and shamble backstage. As Red comes to her senses, she grabs the mic.)
Red Queen: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!
Bella and Wendy go from distraught to furious. They run after Gothic Horror, and leap on Orlok & Vlad’s shoulders. They slap, scratch, and pull hair, but the vampire duo continue to shamble backstage, no selling the whole time. The camera goes back to the Queen, kneeling over her broken crown and wailing. Her mascara is smeared and she starts throwing the debris out of the ring.
| • | • | • Commercials, including one for K2 Circuit Training • | • | • |
Back from commercial, Gothic Horror continue their trudge backstage with Bella and Wendy on their backs, but this time, The Queen is in the mix. Seeing her former partners in trouble, Winter Wonderland joins the fray, and the four women stop the dead men in their tracks and start wearing the duo down. Sensing an opportunity for victory, Justine steps out from off camera and grabs Winter by the hair. She drags Winter down the red carpet down to the now-clean ring and the bell rings…
| • Winter Wonderland d. Justine • | Justine controlled the opening couple of minutes, then pissed off Wonderland with a slap. Already pissed and with renewed furor, Wonderland took Justine to the woodshed after that and stopped her cold with a chain of Nuclear Winter implant DDTs, pinning her with a piefaced lateral press once she completed the third. * ½ Winter didn’t even let the referee raise her hand after the match, seething over Justine before rolling out of the ring and heading towards the back before commercials.
During the break, Nazir el-Fadal found Jim Jaspers in catering and started fighting him - not a food fight, but an honest to Jebus brawl, one only broken up by about ten different officials and referees. Jaspers got in a parting shot about Naz getting eliminated from the first round of the tournament and that maybe losing to Mayhem means Jihad Time is off.
| • Serge Batroc d. “The Analyst” Martin Williams (w/International Workrate Commission) • | Batroc dominated the majority of the match, Williams not getting any assistance from the IWC a couple of times early on when he bailed out, them preferring not to influence the outcome (or possibly tired of Williams, period). Williams eventually reverted to a couple of shortcuts to get ahead - thumb to the eye, boot scrapes - but once Batroc rolled out and got his eye and mind clear, he rolled back in refocused and closed out strong, finishing off the match with his Arc de Triomphe slingshot bridging German suplex. **
After the match, Stahl and Windsor slid into the ring. Batroc cocked back his fist, then looked as shocked as the rest of us when they stomped out Williams. Of note, Serge didn’t make the save…but he didn’t help either, eventually rolling out of the ring and fixing his gaze on Windsor before turning around and heading to the back, possibly because Windsor’s in the main event tonight and could win his way into a title shot.
(Cut away to a black and white shot of two large men silhouetted in fog. The larger one is wearing a black leather vest. Cut to a close up on the giant’s pallid face from multiple angles. His voice is hollow, as you will hear in the voice over)
TITLE CARD: REVENANT
Revenant (VO): The end is nigh…
(Cut to multiple close up shots of an equally pallid bearded man wearing Viking War Paint. In contrast to the cowboy, his voice is a low rumble.)
TITLE CARD: EINHERJAR
Einherjar (VO): …but the cycle will begin anew.
(Montage of B&W footage of Revenant no-selling offense from some wrestlers and using power moves against others)
Revenant (VO): All will fall…
(Montage of B&W footage of Einherjar throwing hard forearms, superkicks, and knees)
Einherjar (VO): …but the immortals will…
(high-speed B&W montage of the duo hitting the spiked tombstone against various opponents interspersed with the duo emerging from the fog. Einherjar’s low rumble and Revenant’s whisper become a roar as they say one word.)
In Unison: RISE!!!
TITLE CARD: THE IMMORTALS ARE COMING
TITLE CARD: NEXT WEEK
| Mayhem [C] d. “King Carny” Richard Windsor & “the Fury” Jim Jaspers in a non-title triple threat Three Wise Men match • | Windsor played the heavy here while both Jaspers and the champion got really positive reactions from the crowd. Windsor tried to pick and choose his moments to attack Mayhem & Jaspers, as Jaspers was particularly focused on getting after Mayhem in the early part of the match due to his narrow loss on his last Ruckus appearance. Mayhem got the upper hand on Jaspers, only to get waylaid by Windsor, who then would eventually get laid out by Jaspers. For the nearly 20 minutes the match went, that’s how things generally played out: Windsor’s hyena-like tendencies, Jaspers being (usually) a step above Windsor and Mayhem & Jaspers more or less going 50/50 when it was just one against the other.
End of the match came when Windsor had Jaspers in an electric chair - Mayhem flew off the top rope with a tornado DDT on Jaspers that drew well-earned “Holy shit!”, “This is awesome!” and “Q Cee Dub!” chants from the attendees. Jaspers bumped outside as a result, only to be jumped and thrown into the stairs (and then jumped again) by Nazir el-Fadal, who the crowd booed lustily. Nazir tried to get at Mayhem next only to be cut off by a bunch of referees and officials, who led him to the back while the medical staff checked on a possibly concussed Jaspers. Once things settled down in the ring, Mayhem got the upper hand on Windsor and put him away with a standing tornado DDT to set up the No More Words senton bomb. ***
Post match, we hit Mayhem’s music and the Quarantron flashed:
#ANDSTILL
Mayhem undoes a bow that an intern wrapped around the title belt and oversold a surprise look. He yelled to the crowd “AND IT’S JUST MY SIZE!” before taking a Santa Hat from someone in the crowd and putting it on his head as he holds the belt up in triumph. The fan liked it, the fan next to him didn't for some reason. Mayhem's not a PS5, he can't please everybody. See you for QCW’s Fighting New Year’s Eve!
Next: s1e12 Ruckus
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