Let Us Take You Back To Last Week: absolute Forbidden Book Club domination, not only advancing in the Women’s World Tag Team title tourney, but Nancy Crowley pinning Summer Rose in a tag match to get a shot at the gold tonight • Serge Batroc taking the helm of the International Workrate Consortium only to be cut off and challenged by the Wonderful Ward Brothers • Nazir piling on Tiki God in his TV title defense, with Mirror Mirror making the save, Naz taunting them from the crowd with both the title and a middle finger in the air…
Pyro! Ballyhoo! Etc! The usual suspects welcomed us to the show and were in the process of running down the big matches tonight when they were cut off by Siouxie & the Banshees’ “This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us”, bringing out Mirror Mirror to their usual mixed, loud reaction – dunno if you heard, but this is Friday night and it’s alright for fighting.
| • Mirror Mirror (w/”Tiki God” Al Buffet ds. Danny Castle • | Just to further underscore the gulf between the former tag champions, while Serge is ascending and a literal leader of men, Castle is lost and adrift; the asswhooping he got here won’t help that, either. Pretty much a redux of the Williams squash from last week, with the added wrinkle that Mirror set up Look Inward with a very familiar-looking cobra clutch suplex. (Al’s facial reaction is the stuff of GIFs.) Mirror hung on for a couple beats after the ref called for the bell, because of course they did. SQUASH
But Siouxie was cut off pretty quickly by some very…slow…clapping.
That was all the World TV champion needed by way of a theme, coming out to a raucous ovation (of boos) and sporting yet another different WHERE IS MAYHEM? shirt. “Congratulations, Mirror! Another dominating victory over some future Starr. Why, you may earn a shot at my title some time this decade.” Mirror waved Nazir on to the ring, sitting between the middle and top rope. “Me? In a two on one against? Not hardly. YOUR REAL World’s Champion likes it when the odds are a bit more even.” Naz’s subsequent grin was too wide to be friendly. “I suspect in a few seconds, even with the odds evened, you won’t like the outcome.”
Nobody knew WTF Naz was talking about until Mirror was suddenly being pulled to the floor by @smashleysmithoffical, who proceeded to throw Mirror into the stairs, while Dom DeSade came from the crowd and beat Al like a rented goalie, sending him from the ring as Naz cackled and left. @ threw Mirror into the ring and she & Dom were set to double team them (phrasing, sorry) when Al re-emerged with his own way of making the odds even: a kendo stick. He cleared the ring of Dom after a barrage of shots, then teased hitting @, only to hand over the stick to Mirror, who threw it down and got into a ready stance. Discretion being the better part of valor, the Polyculists headed to the back and Al got on the mic, more furious than we’d ever heard: “Naz! Get your sorry ass excuse for a champion back out…”
Mirror holds up a finger, and Tiki shuts up.
“What the big man meant to say was, rather than paying people to attack me and/or tolerate your endless rambling, why don’t you put down your security blanket of a mic, pick up your ticking clock of a TV belt, and take a moment to … LOOK INWARD?” That thread dangled in the air heading to commercial…
…but we came back to chaos: almost a dozen security agents were out, standing between Mirror/Al & Naz while the crowd booed lustily--those that weren’t chanting “Let them fight!” Mirror & Al were being led away towards the back, and Naz was fuming on the floor ringside, probably because Mirror told him this wasn’t anywhere near over for what he did to Al last week. Naz grabbed the microphone and stood on the stairs, saying that it was hilarious the rabble was chanting “Let them fight!” when Al didn’t put one up last week and Mirror and main event fights go together like peanut butter & Chong. It’d been a while, but for the main event tonight, since Naz’s hackles were up and he’d fight anybody in the mood he was in, he was making an open challenge to DARE anyone on that horizontal ladder of mediocrity in the back to take his belt from him. If Al wanted to get dropped on his head again, great, if Bec—MIRROR, sorry, wanted to get dropped on THEIIIIIIR head, he owes them one, anybody else, let’s go. The last time he made an open challenge he ended Toddzilla’s undefeated streak and what’s happened to him since? So whoever takes him up on the challenge better be ready for a long, slow slide that ends up at the announce desk if they’re fool enough to step to the Triple Crown Jewel of QCW. SHOO, RABBLE, SHOO!
(They did not.)
| • The International Workrate Consortium (Serge Batroc & Anton “Teknik” Stahl (w/”King Carny” Richard Windsor) d. The Wonderful Ward Brothers • | Good reaction for the Wards’ Ruckus debut; the IWC, now following more of Serge’s lead, came out in jackets cut from similar cloth but each representing each man’s home country with a couple of chevrons down the front with their flag’s secondary colors. The Wards started off hot, trying to get back into title contention and with more experience as a unit than this version of the IWC. At one point, frustrated with how the match was going, Serge actually slapped Windsor and made him go to the back. Ironically enough, without Windsor things gelled smoother for Serge & Stahl, though the Wards were keeping pace with them after they got back to even. The end came when Serge fell victim to the Dynamic Express but Stahl made the save at 2.9999; Jason Ward felt that was three and was arguing with the ref when Stahl almost shoved him into the zebra. The ref pulled up - which gave Serge the opening to land a thunderous uppercut right in the timbits, followed up by the Arc de Triomphe for the win. ***
Rich went after the IWC while Jason recovered, but they beat him down and tied him up in the ropes as Windsor came back out with a chair in hand and Serge kicked Jason down to ringside. His new boss yelled out “Silence him!” so he did - Richard wrapped the chair around Jason’s neck and threw him into the ringpost, the crowd gasping in shock and even more so as Jason started bleeding profusely from the mouth. Serge chuckled as they let Rich go, who immediately ran to his brother while screaming and getting bleeped in the process calling for medical help. The EMTs were out as Jason was put on a stretcher that the Consortium surrounded, Serge yelling “Long live the IWC!” before they let it pass and take him to a medical facility. The upgraded, more cutthroat IWC under Serge’s leadership preach ring techniques and do things like this? Deplorable! And chicanerous!
TOTHEBACK~! after commercials, where Enya Face was with the Immortals. A monitor was on behind them as they blew through a case of brews. Einherjar said her talents were being wasted on drudge work, but their reaction to facing These Hands & Toddzilla tonight was amusement. The Revenant had a deep, sinister laugh while glaring at the camera, E noting the last time he saw TR laugh was before he was hung. Fade might be a sad jest with limited, but interesting skills, and he’s been victorious against equals. E then completely ethered Toddzilla (seems to be going around tonight) calling him a sad sideshow clown who’s record was thinner than the Revenant’s patience. The big man crushed the beer bottle in his hand as Einherjar noted that since Scott Holmes put these sacrifices in front of them, they would take these sacrifices and show that death…is only the beginning. He then bade Enya good night, as they had strategy to discuss. As Enya left their locker room, she noticed The Sound of Thunder outside in the hallway, “Shieldmaiden” Val Curry especially giving slow smirks and intrigued glances to the Immortals. QCW may be growing by leaps and bounds but it might want to do something to curb the amount of budding necrophiliacs it’s employing.
| • Summer Rose [c] d. “The Cauldron of Chaos” Nancy Crowley to retain the QCW Women’s World Championship • | The rest of the Forbidden Book Club was banned from ringside for the first title match of the evening. Crowley put up a hellacious fight and even managed to avoid the Come Up but the end came when the champ dodged out of the way of the Third Eye Blinder and connected with the Come Up for another victory in her ledger. The announce was putting over the happy but exhausted Rose as QCW’s longest reigning champion when Karyn Tisch-Warren came out with her husband You Know-Who and shook her head disapprovingly from the apex of the ramp, though they bailed when it looked like Summer was going to come after them. ** ½
A brief moment of respite from the constant enmity, as we went to the announce, who went to…no bullshit, TMZ. (And good for QCW for making it far enough to be on TMZ? Hurray, I guess?) Anyhow, Party Animal was seen leaving a Parts Unknown liquor store with a case of Topo Chico, thus causing a press release from White Claw that PA was no longer being considered as a spokesman? Is–is this a heel turn?
| • The Immortals d. “These Hands” Roy Fade” & Toddzilla • | Bizarrely enough, the TMZ clip helped play into the finish here. Toddzilla had superplexed the Revenant, almost causing the ring to collapse when “Oh Yeah” came on, bringing out Party Animal who was both clearly inebriated and angry, demanding the Quarantron flay the pootage! It showed PA from the security cam, yelling out that the store was out of Claw, and how was he supposed to have a Tuesday night without his Claw? Fine, give him the Topo, whatever. So no heel turn. Fade came down from the apron to get PA to shut up by punching him in the face; Animal took the blow full-on then uncorked an eleven second burp that had Fade woozy from the fumes before both of them started fighting, Steve remembering that not only had Party beaten Toddzilla at Yule Be Sorry but that PA had ended QCW’s 2021 by pinning Fade in a fatal four-way. Speaking of pinning, left on his own against the undead buzzsaw, Toddzilla would get pinned after walking through Death’s Door, the spiked Tombstone putting another W in the Immortals’ win column. ** As the Immortals death glared the camera, the lights turned red – flickered four times – reset.
After that, Steve & S. Mark had a satellite interview with “the Island Flower” Luz Cruz. She apologized that they were interviewing her at her Coral Gables home rather than inside Arena Quarantina, but she couldn’t get cleared to compete this week. [Let Us Take You Back To Last Week where she missed an Orihara moonsault and became one with the guardrail yeeouch] But she really appreciated the QCW fans who sent her all the kind messages on social media, and was especially happy that her old friend Sohla had come down with the medical team to check on her. Truth be told, maybe everyone else was worried a little too much, because that’s what she’s been doing since she was a kid, jumping off of high places - just usually more successfully than that. But one missed moonsault wasn’t going to stop her. It’s how she got out of the barrio - how she became a two-time Crush Wrestling champion - and kudos to Summer for another successful defense, but the moment she gets clearance she’s coming for that title no matter how great a champion Summer has been for QCW. Luz was cut off by the loud laughter of Starr, who wondered how she was going to win a title match when she couldn’t even get up off her couch. Luz noted she’s won more title matches than Starr ever did, and somehow seconds later the feed was mysteriously cut. Odd!
| • Science Fiction Double Feature (“Regular Human Being” Jane Doe & “the Electric Android” Cindy Monet d. The Sound of Thunder (“Shieldmaiden” Val Curry & “Death Metal” Bettie Rokker in a first round Women’s World Tag Team title tournament match • | Probably the best of the first round matches so far, both teams wearing white hats and being hybrid units both part Crash and part QCW. It was a coin flip throughout the two segments it went. SFDF ended up taking the duke by being smart enough to employ the five d’s when Curry was involved, then isolated Rokker until they had her set up to shut it down, Doe tagging in Cindy as they polished her off with Cindy’s Tightrope into Jane’s Standard Finisher (Your Standard Tandem Finisher?) to get the duke. *** Handshakes all around as the Features celebrated their victory and absconded to the back in search of refreshing celebratory beverages; as Thunder were leaving, guess what happened to the lights four times before they went out? Anybody up for an Immortals on a pole match?
Ahead of the open challenge main event, the announce teased next week’s matches, and there will be another two title matches on the first Ruckus in February as in addition to the TV title, the World Tag Team titles will be defended - the College Park Family taking on the revamped and dangerous International Workrate Consortium, and we have the final first round match in the Women’s World Tag Title tournament with the Angel Sisters facing off against the Storybookers. "Arcarsenal" cut off whatever Starr was going to say. I’m sure it was a coincidence.
| • WORLD TV TITLE OPEN CHALLENGE • | As Naz was taking off his WIM? shirt, Metalachi’s cover of Epic started coming over the PA, causing the champion to hang his head and give a rueful chuckle at his opponent, someone who he knew since the last time they’d seen each other Naz was lifting the Lucha Libre de Reyes World Title off of him three months ago.
Crusazdo del Oro rushed down to ringside and before the bell could even ring, got the faithful fired up with a springboard dropkick that sent Naz to the floor and then followed it up with a low tope that sent Naz over the announce, wiping out Starr in the process (talk about babyface moves). Crusazdo grabbed the mic and said “¡Desde que robaste mi campeonato favorito, voy a obtener un campeonato nuevo – TU CAMPEONATO!” “ (since Naz took his old favorite belt, he’d get a new one by taking this one off of Naz, thank you QCW Fanboard) The crowd might not have gotten the promo entirely but got the gist when the index point at Naz and ¡TU CAMPEONATO! happened, and what reprobate roots for Naz anyhow?
The bell rang and Crusazdo threw Naz into the ring; when Naz rolled out, Crusazdo tracked his movements and then drilled him with a baseball slide. Naz might not have gotten off an offensive move that wasn’t an eye rake in the opening five minutes, Oro swarming him with his speed, armdrags and headscissors variants. At one point, Naz was literally begging off only to be answered with a dropkick. However, when Oro went for a more standard tope, Naz cut him off mid-air with the MurderDiscusKill elbow then tried to win by countout. Oro rolled in at 8 and Naz immediately went to stomp him out. Down the stretch, Naz tried to go for Thoughts and Prayers but Oro did the ropewalk into pinfall counter for a close nearfall. Oro went for his signature phoenix splash but Naz got crotched him on the top rope. When they fought up there, Oro got the upper hand and dropped Naz, then uncorked Pajaera del Sol; Naz got his knees up and small packaged Oro for an even tighter nearfall. Naz immediately went to the MDK well and whiffed, Oro drilled him with a reverse rana and connected with the Pajaero. The ref counted three, Oro celebrated, the fans celebrated – and then all the air came out of the ballon as the ref noticed Naz’s foot on the ropes, and he waved off the decision and celebration. Oro pleaded with the ref, and Naz tried to sneak up on him with the cobra clutch. Oro went for the ropewalk but Naz took the rug out from under him mid-move and left him in the Tree of Woe. Naz hit a short-range dropkick, then one from corner to corner, then a second corner to corner one even faster and harder. Naz did the throat slash and went for the WMDDT—Oro reversed out into his own small package, getting another two count but Naz rolled through and then out into the WMDDT. Clearly a little shell shocked and gasping for air, Naz crawled over to Oro, snatched him up by the mask, and hit a second WMDDT to put a button on his third title defense. *** ½
But don’t cue “Arcarsenal” – hey, you know any M.I.A. World Champions into nine inch nails? Say, "Wish"? The roof came off the dump as Mayhem’s theme music hit, Naz’s face turning white before his head now dropped again. No rueful chuckle here, just unvarnished cowardice. Naz looked to the ref and pleaded, then looked to the ramp, where Mayhem…
…wasn’t coming out yet. But!
…well, still not out…oh, there’s a rustle, maybe?
Naz’s look turned from fearful to a smirk. Then a long laugh. Then a deep cackle as he rolled out of the ring. Yes, he did grab the mic, more of his cackling getting drowned out by the boos from the crowd. “Idiots! The LOT of you, idiots! A simple question for you monkeys:
WHERE
IS
MAYHEM?
WHEEERRREEEE IS MAYHEM?!?!
…oh, right. I don’t care, because the REAL! World’s! Champ! Is! HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Cackling his way back up the aisle, Naz proudly held up his World Televsion title. It helped block some of the trash being thrown at him. We’ll see you next week for Ruckus, which will hopefully have a happier ending.
Next: s1e17 Ruckus
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