Recap of last week to open the show, including Naz “successfully” defending the TV title against Party Animal with “These Hands” Roy Fade & “The Fury” Jim Jaspers both going after him, the competition for QCW’s newest title (and possible slingshot to the World Title) already well underway with the countdown until Naz can cash in the TV title at 9 – he’ll be defending against the Tiki God in tonight’s main event.
Standard open, pyro, usual suspects. It’s Friday nights, and we fight, so let’s (sorta kinda) pick up from where we left off last week, shall we?
| • “These Hands'' Roy Fade NC “the Fury'' Jim Jaspers • | Jim came back last week from his share of maternity leave, the production team posting a couple pictures from Jim’stragram to show off him and his precious newborn daughter. He & Fade both have beef with Naz - both want to be TV champion - both polish off their opponents with knee strikes - and there’s your contretemps. Match went back and forth, with a slight advantage to Jaspers. But he couldn’t connect with Fury Road; similarly, Fade whiffed on an attempt at the Decision - and the whole thing got thrown out when a decidedly pissed-off looking Party Animal laid out Jaspers. When Fade celebrated this, he ate the Claw (the hold, not the beverage) and the ref tossed it. ** ½ Having left Jaspers & Fade laid out, Party Animal went back up the ramp to mostly cheers, though some diehard Fury fans were heard & seen booing.
Over to the announce team, who announced that both QCW World Champion Mayhem & Mason “Razorblade” Savage had almost completely recovered from their car accident suffered the night of the PPV and should both be getting released from the Toronto hospital they were in by weekend’s end. Dueling chants for them broke out from the audience upon the news, Razorblade’s supporters having a bit more bass in their voice…
| • Mirror Mirror ds. Martin Williams • | No Al with Mirror, as he presumably gets ready for the main event title shot. Didn’t need him - Williams came out to no music, no pomp and circumstance, and got in almost no offense. Mirror clearly reveled in beating on Williams and took the referee’s count to 4 on multiple occasions. Look Inward cinched the victory in just under six minutes. SQUASH
As Mirror made it to the ramp, Al came out and they exchanged a specialized high five before heading to the back together. Gotta wonder what would happen to their relationship(?) if Al beat Naz tonight and put himself closer to a World Title shot than Mirror…
Back from commercials (including one for K2 Circuit Training), the ring was covered in red, white and blue bunting, as Anton “Teknik” Stahl admitted that while he lost last week, he lost cleanly to someone who proved that not only were they on his level, but they had been weighed down by a shoddy tag partner too long. Now that he freed himself of that yoke, he could find himself with equals – the NEW leader of the International Workrate Consortium, Serge Batroc! Serge came out to a loud, mixed reaction that only crystallized when he noted that he had been getting cheers from these people who barely knew what a clothesline was, let alone the art that men of his, Anton, and Richard put forth in this ring. A bunch of drunken yokels more in tune with Motley Crue cover bands than with Mozart. Look at what just happened to Williams, humiliated and beaten by a thing pretending to be a wrestler. Well, the International Workrate Consortium doesn’t hide behind a mask, and they’ve cut the dead weight. QCW should prepare themselves for true wrestling put on by the finest purveyors of it across the world, and gold will be theirs sooner rather than later, and not just the titles you might expect either. Vive le Serge, but more importantly – Long Live The IWC!
Crowd disliked it until Kenny Powers was shitting gold these days, meaning that The Wonderful Ward Brothers had Made It to ruin the IWC’s ceremony. Jason on the stick, admitting that the College Park Family may have been a hair or two better at the PPV, but for a bunch of self-important jerkoffs to be preening about the greatness of international wrestling when Serge is the only one of them who knows what a win looks like lately is HI LAR I OUUUUUUUUUUUUUS. Talk about internationally great wrestlers, here’s two Canadians who are internationally great and know a little something about championships, which the I W C? D O N T. Serge scoffed and asked if it was a challenge. Rich grabbed the mic and said something in French that pissed off the IWC and especially their newly minted leader, but Serge calmed down then cut him off with a series of nons — they weren’t dressed to wrestle this week, and wouldn’t on a night like tonight for this swamp trash. But if they wanted to face any two members of the IWC on next week’s Ruckus – well, that could be arranged. Jason snatched up the deal, happily noting it would be Wonderful to shut them up on their way to getting another tag title shot. Cue We Made It again, IWC chirping from the ring, the Wards from the ramp.
| • The Forbidden Book Club (Bonnie “Equinox” Agrippa & "the Goddess of Love" Shelley LaVey) d. Mean Season (Spring Green & Winter Wonderland) in a first round Women’s World Tag Team Title tournament match • | Crowley & Spare were banned from ringside given the importance of the match, but it didn’t matter; on a roll since debuting, and winning WarGames at Cold As Hell, the FBC engaged in shady tactics but took advantage of Winter’s various injuries she keeps trying to fight through, ultimately getting the duke when Winter verbally submitted to Agrippa’s Uncertainty (Rings of Saturn) after getting her arm worked over all match after missing a shoulderblock to the corner on LaVey and hitting the post. Winter got helped to the back by the medical team, who passed by an entering Spare and Crowley, all hopping up to a turnbuckle and cackling with Agrippa & LaVey making a familiar looking motion around their waists. The Club will take on last week’s winners Hell On Wheels in the semifinals of the tournament. **
Coincidentally enough after the match, we got a stinger from the Immortals, who killed off Gothic Horror at the PPV to mark them as QCW’s hottest, darkest new tag team. Gothic Horror stood in their way, so the Immortals put them in the grave – if any other two men are foolish enough to court early death, the Immortals will be ready next week to dig two more graves and then more and more until they stand on a mountain of skulls, QCW World Tag Team Championships in hand. When the stinger finished playing, the Club looked on with varying degrees of lust in their eyes, none low. It turned out they had more business to take care of on the evening…
| • The Forbidden Book Club (“The Cauldron of Chaos” Nancy Crowley & “the High Priestess” Diana Spare) d. “The Island Flower” Luz Cruz & QCW Women’s World Champion Summer Rose • | Agrippa got caught tripping up Cruz in the first part of the match, which got her & LaVey ejected to the crowd’s delight. Still though, FBC is proving themselves to be a unit, and the babyfaces, while talented, were staplegunned together. Scary stuff as Cruz went for her signature Orihara moonsault, but Crowley pulled Spare out of harm’s way and Cruz went ribs first into and partially over the guardrail. “Bollywood Diva” Sohla Patel, a longtime friend of Cruz’s from Crush days, came out with the medical staff and checked on Cruz, who insisted on staying in the match but obviously wasn’t anywhere close to 100% as a result. The Champ took on both women as long as she could, but there’s a reason The Damned Numbers Game is such a bulletproof cliche, and after some quick tagging and tandem offense to wear her down The Club put away Rose with Spare’s underhook powerbomb and Crowley’s flying headbutt, Nancy standing over the champ after the three count and talking smack, herself also familiar with the gesture of a belt around one’s waist. ** ½ The Club each took a turnbuckle post-match and cackled over tonight’s successes as Patel helped Cruz to the back and Rose was still down in the ring, the lights flickered red four times before the lights went out, and once they came back on, there was no Club in sight.
Back to the announce, hyped for next week’s Ruckus as well – more first round Women’s World Tag Title tourney action, another TV title defense regardless of who wins (the TV title being defended every week! Whatta concept!) and this just in from the office of Scott Holmes, an additional title match – Summer Rose to defend the QCW Women’s World Title against the woman who just pinned her clean, Nancy Crowley, with the rest of the Club banned from ringside. But that title fight’s 168 hours away, give or take; the TV title is on the line in the main event–right now!
| • “the One Man Jihad” Nazir el-Fadal [c] ddq. “Tiki God” Al Buffet (w/Mirror Mirror) to retain the QCW World Television Championship (2/10) • | Al came out with uncommonly steely focus, clearly listening to whatever Mirror² was imparting, Nazir came out to Arcarsenal wearing another WHERE IS MAYHEM? shirt and being disgusted by the crowd (the feeling is mutual, I suspect). Remember, Al has 15 minutes to win the title straight up, with an additional five minutes to get an extended rematch if he closes the deal between minutes sixteen and twenty; Naz is trying to stay TV champion long enough to cash in the belt for a World Title shot (a hoop he feels he shouldn’t have to jump through). Naz got the upperhand on Al early, paintbrushing him and standing on his back for no good reason, then turned his attention to smacktalking Mirror – the next thing you know, Al had him up in an Electric Chair and dropped out into a facebuster to the roar of the crowd and a small fist pump from Mirror. Al took advantage of the advantage and kept pressing for the next couple minutes with a series of nearfalls; unfortunately, after he dipped his head too early after whipping Naz into the ropes, Naz held on and waited for him to look up before he drilled him with the MurderDiscusKill elbow he debuted at the PPV that scrambled Fade’s brains so effectively (and Party Animal’s last week as well). Al tried to regain his bearings while the crowd booed; Naz merely snuck up behind him and drilled him with the Thoughts and Prayers cobra clutch suplex. Dusting off his hands, he pointed at Mirror and said “This next part…this next part’s all on you.”
Thoughts and Prayers, redux.
Thoughts and Prayers, the trilogy, Al clearly being dead weight at this point. Naz did the Hogan ear cups to the crowd, narrowly avoiding Mirror grabbing his leg, then hit a couple more Thoughts and Prayers before putting the slumped over Al in a seated position and pulling him up by the hair to slash his throat – then he got spun around.
Mirror Cracked upside your head…but that headbutt is grounds for a DQ, and once again Nazir has made a successful* title defense. ** ½ But wait, there’s more.
Mirror shoved Naz, yelling at him for the excessive suplexes. Naz yelled back at Mirror, then got spun around by Al. Chokeslam? CHOKESLAM! Biggest pop of the night as the smaller Buffet drilled Naz, then fell back into the same seated position he was on the mat not two minutes previous, but in slightly better shape. Mirror was right next to Al and checking on him as he held his head, and since he had rolled to the floor post chokeslam that gave Naz the chance to grab the microphone. Ruh roh.
“Two down, eight to go, rabble. Thank you for that, Mirror. I don’t know who you’re pretending to be, but I know who you really are, and if you keep putting your nose in the REAL World Champion’s business, you’re going to find out the hard way that championship air is rarefied, which is why you and your little sycophant suffocate when you try and fail at these main events. So let me propose something more in line with your alleged talents:
If someone as low on the totem pole as you can have a personal assistant, I can use at LEAST one of my own.
What do you say, Mirror? You put in the work for two, maybe three years and you can get promoted to my personal chef! It’ll probably be harder for someone as embarrassing as yourself to make something edible than it was to beat that joke Williams, but in my world, nutjobs like you, well, are *grateful* for the opportunities job creators like me provide –”
Mirror was livid, and dove between the ropes after Nazir, who fled out through the crowd. Mirror was being held back by a still recovering Al (well, he was trying to, bless him) while Nazir found the highest point in the bottom concourse and flipped the bird with one hand and held up the Television Championship with the other. The crowd booed, Mirror fumed (presumably), and Al tried to get his brain cells lined back up in the proper direction as the credit box came up – see you next week for the two title matches and more as QCW continues to bring the Ruckus every Friday night!
Next: s1e16 Ruckus
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