We kicked off the first Ruckus in May with an instrumental of Interpol’s “NYC”, setting up the Mayday Payday highlight package to kick off the show. Brief stills of Summer Rose and Katsuji Ootsuka celebrating preshow victories gave way to video of a focused Mirror and a disgusted Naz - Mirror landing shots, Naz drilling Mirror with the MDK elbow, Mirror refusing to quit in the Black Lotus and their body going limp, Naz slapping them - then raising their hand, whispering something and leaving them in the ring on a knee recovering and accepting the applause; Mean Season giving everything they had to try to gain the Women’s World Tag Team championships only to fall prey to the Forbidden Book Club, who teleported out cackling champions still; Mean Season getting back some steam in the next match and the celebration of Summer Rose getting back the Women’s World Championship from Lolo Vuitton to make her the first two-time champion of any type in the Quarantine Era, Summer screaming gleefully “I run this!” while holding up and slapping the title; the Immortals winning the QCW World Tag Team championships with a Death’s Door variant that put down Jupiter Jones, followed by their stating they would be sticking around as fighting champions to a loud, mixed, but mostly positive reaction; the probable shock of the night, as the TV title got decided and Party Animal not only upset Mayhem to take the strap, but made him tap out, Animal celebrating with Claws in the crowd while a dejected Mayhem took the sad Hulk walk to the back; Serge Batroc going all out but the Champ being just a bit better Sunday night, putting him away with the Soul Crusher; from their spot at the announce, Party throwing Razorblade a Claw and both champions toasting from a distance before getting their drinks on in one hand and their title belts in the other.
We got the opening sting from here, now with more Katsuji and Mirror in it and all the new/old champions slotted into the appropriate spots down the stretch (the Immortals, Summer, Party) before closing on Razorblade smiling and slowly holding up the QCW World Heavyweight championship outside of the Hammerstein.
Set off the pyro; you don’t need to hype up the Quaranteers because they already are, Steve & S. welcoming us to Ruckus and the fallout from Mayday Payday. You know the deal: if it’s Friday night, we gotta fight…
| • The Hard Way d. Toddzilla & Roberto VillaLobos • | As the match kicked off, Steve noted the odd couple nature of the baddies and said that Toddzilla's regular partner Roy Fade had gotten injured in a preshow match Sunday night but they would have an update on his condition later in the program. The former tag champs are looking to find their way back to their old belts and it was that cohesion that led them to a pretty convincing win here, VillaLobos absolutely flailing ever since getting unmasked and eating the pinfall. ** THW celebrated on the buckles afterwards to a decent reaction while a pissed off Toddzilla stomped off to the back. THW left a defeated VillaLobos in the ring, head slumped against the buckles…when the lights went out, then four red throbs lit up the darkness. When the lights went back on, VillaLobos looked around the ring but found none of the usual suspects.
Announce was as baffled by this as the rest of us were, Starr saying that he didn't even see a Club match scheduled tonight. Steve confirmed that but sort of verbally shrugged it off before teeing up some stills from Mayday Payday of the Beg For Mercy match. He narrated in the background, noting that while Mirror lost it was because their body gave up before their mind did, and seemingly (finally) got some of Naz's respect in the process. Unfortunately, before the match he swore that Mirror's price for getting involved in his business was going to be another trip to the hospital, and as this report from Julius Duquesne III was going to show, he lived up to that promise.
A doctor at Mount Sinai West confirmed Mirror's injuries but said that they were made of tough stuff; still, for obvious precautionary measures they wanted to keep Mirror a few days until they passed the full range of testing. The good news was that it shouldn't keep Mirror from returning to the ring, and if things go well they can probably return before the end of the month.
Julius was bedside with Mirror, who didn't look at him or the camera as he asked for an update on their condition. After more window gazing, J3 changed tacks and asked Mirror about the post-match, where Naz jolted them awake with a slap – suddenly, there was a knock on the door and we all looked towards the door. But it wasn't the Tiki God who came in, but Mirror's former tag partner @smashleysmithofficial. She came in with a bouquet of flowers as Mirror straightened up a bit in the hospital bed, and set them down on the bedside table. Mirror cleared their throat and thanked @, who had something to get off of her chest. Mirror was right - about Dom, the Polycule, everything - and it took her too long to realize it. So she hoped that her apology was accepted, because watching them go to war with that [SWEARING! BAD!] Naz and not back down was the most fun she'd had all year. The room was quiet for a while, Duquesne III shifting uncomfortably before Mirror accepted the apology and hoped for one of their own; @ was always more comfortable in her skin than they were in theirs, even now. @ accepted the apology, then there was a bit of awkward silence before Mirror asked if J3 and the cameras could leave them to talk in private, which they did.
Grudge match up next on the docket, with the returning Wonderful Ward Brothers going up against the International Workrate Consortium, who earlier in the year put Jason on the shelf for a few weeks so the Canadians were out for revenge. Even before the match started the Wards were behind the eight ball, as when he jumped down from the buckle after the prematch pose, Jason seemed to tweak something in either his knee or leg and was shuffling awkwardly trying to put full weight on it. With the big Russian in this match for the IWC, Rich offered to start out the match and call the trainers, while Jason told him not to and that he would try to work it out while Rich held it down. Rich held it down for a while while Jason kept shuffle limping around the Ward side of the ring, but when Caviar came in the excrement flew into the cooling device. The IWC did what they do best - isolate an opponent on their side of the ring and quick tag their way to dominance. But this is still the first week of this tag team, and when Rich dodged and Caviar bulldozed Stahl, Jason limped up the stairs and banged the turnbuckle, rope in hand. Rich almost went the wrong way, then got himself turned around properly and dove for his corner – only for Jason to hangman him and send him flying back into the ring. The crowd murmured, then started booing as Jason leapt into the ring, starting to pummel his brother while Serge held up a hand from ringside to tell the IWC to let it play out. Seething, Jason picked up his brother before driving him into the mat with a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker, before throwing him to Caviar, who gave Jason a giant swing before a crushing spinebuster, pinning him with one hand on his chest. **
| • the International Workrate Consortium (Caviar/Stahl w/Batroc) d. The Wonderful Ward Brothers • |
The IWC stomped Richard all the way out while Serge commandeered the mic from Duck and walked into the ring, thinking briefly about saying a few words before handing it over to Jason, who cut a scathing promo on his brother, saying that that was always Rich’s problem, that he knew better. Well, he didn’t know this was coming, because when he finally took his two hours of sleep at night and wasn’t smothering him with his quote-unquote love he was talking to Serge. Serge who pointed out to him how sometimes you had to injure someone to send a message, which is why he ended up in PT with his brother still trying to fight him while he was hurt. So if we were in the business of hurting people and this was all tough love, well, then, Rich would understand someday. If his ego would let him. But being the kind considerate brother HE was, Jason would give him time to think about it. Caviar literally scared the referee from the ring as Anton wrapped a chair around Rich’s neck right before Jason stood on the second rope and said “I got all the brothers I need now,” flying off and Pillmanizing Rich’s neck to the shock and disgust of the crowd. The EMTs came out to put Rich on a stretcher while the newly reconstituted IWC of Serge/Stahl/Caviar/Ward stood over the scene and yelled out in unison “Long live the IWC!” A disgusted Steve couldn’t throw to commercials fast enough as the EMTs started to take Rich to the back.
| • Nazir el-Fadal d. Atum Pharaoh • | Pharaoh showed off some agility and power here in their debut (you can play guess the gimmick off of the last name) against el-Fadal, who couldn't gain an advantage until after they crawled under the ring then took advantage of Atum looking under the side Naz crawled originally crawled under; Naz crawled out from around the corner and got a running start to the MDK elbow he loves deploying. Naz tried to win it via countout at this point; Pharaoh rolled in at eight but got pretty much dissected by the former World champion for the rest of the match, ending by Naz wearing him down with a cobra clutch before muscling him up and over for Thoughts and Prayers to get the W. **. Naz preened after the bell even by Naz standards, at one point doing the Are You Not Entertained? on the announce table while they bitched at him, Naz gleefully yelling down at them that he did what he wanted when he wanted to WHOMEVER he wanted. He proved it Sunday night…and for the special Starrs lite watching at home and in the back, he'd prove it again before the night was over. Naz swaggered to the back while Starr shit talked him (I hope you read that by your fainting couch).
Quick shots of “the Fury” Jim Jaspers landing knee strikes and headbutts - followed by “King Carny” Richard Windsor throwing suplexes and European uppercuts - both men, now in suits approaching the camera with a British wrestling ring behind them. Richard said the losing is over, and next week, the wait is over. The Proper Villains are done tuning up; they’re coming to Ruckus for a fight before the pints, and God save whomever gets in their way. Jaspers walked up to the camera, tilted his head, smirked, dropped his shades down to his nose and gave us a “Cheers.” The Proper Villains come back Stateside to Queue Cee Dub next week!
| • Lolo Vuitton d. Spring Green • | Green put up a fight, but a pissed off Vuitton fought without her usual sense of style first and really laid into Green, even pulling Spring up at two after drilling her with the Bloody Shoe. The referee lectured her about it, so Lolo rolled her eyes, hit it again, and pinned Spring while piefacing her. * ½
Post match, Vuitton threw Green in the ropes and tied her up, then rolled out of the ring before reaching under it and grabbing a kendo stick. She yelled at Gaia "Where's your girl?!" so Green spit in her face and dared her. Lolo didn't have to be asked twice and started teeing off, even shoving the referee down when they tried to make the save. But you can't send a referee to do a champion's job, and out came Summer Rose to a monster pop, rushing the ring and neutralizing the kendo stick by bull rushing Vuitton and taking her down with a double leg. Both women started brawling with neither being able to hold an advantage for long until Summer got the upper hand. She went for the Come Up only to get swatted down by the kendo stick, but as Lolo reared back for a shot, she got cut off by a kendo stick shot – from Spring who landed a couple shots before Vuitton bailed out, complaining about the two on one from the ramp while the Mean Season women held the ring and taunted her.
At the desk, Steve wanted to give us an update on the former TV champ "These Hands" Roy Fade. He was up against Katsuji Ootsuka on the Mayday Payday preshow in the Consolation Cup, but late in the match suffered an injury and ended up losing the opportunity to vie for that title tonight. Test results revealed a sprained MCL that will keep him on the shelf for the next few weeks, Steve adding that while Fade isn't a fan favorite, no one wants to see a wrestler injured, and he joined the rest of the QCW staff in wishing Fade the quickest possible recovery.
If you’re wondering how the Arena has changed in the past few months, the camera caught a sign that said I Paid To Boo Mayhem as the former World champion came out to a sea of boos and derogatory chants (the audience couldn’t decide between emo boy and you tapped out). Mayhem looked increasingly rankled by the hatred he was getting, and to make things worse for his ego, Oro got a full throated welcome from the crowd. Mayhem used his size advantage early to get the upper hand (boo!) only to start falling victim to Oro armdrags and dropkicks (yay!). As the match went on into its second segment it looked for all the world like Mayhem was going to take two upset Ls in the same week, and Oro went up for the Pajaro del Sol phoenix splash to put another dub in his ledger, but Mayhem managed to get up to circumvent that and shoved Oro off the top rope - he went flying into the barricade over the ringpost behind him, and he was not moving after impact. The crowd reviled this while Mayhem looked like he was cringing slightly (maybe not expecting the length of that flight). Mayhem consulted with the ref, who went to make a move to check on Oro, who wanted to stay in the fight. Mayhem looked concerned as the referee made his ten count, Oro barely sluicing in at 9.6. Mayhem looked at the referee and shrugged, then put all his power into a powerbomb that honestly could’ve ended things, though the subsequent No More Words did. ** ½
| • Mayhem d. Crusazdo del Oro • |
But it wasn’t Trent Reznor over the PA once the three count was registered - it was Ben Gibbard, bop baaing his way to “the Sound of Settling” with the rest of Death Cab For Cutie. Mayhem looked confused, then angry, then rolled out of the ring and got the microphone, demanding that they cut this crap off and hit his music.
“But why?” asked a voice as the song stopped.
And suddenly on the Quarantron, Nazir el-Fadal.
“You’ve always been the sound of settling, Mayhem - if that is your real name. I told the rabble I would ruin the Myth of Mayhem, though I can’t take full credit for that – you tapping out to a drunken lout nailed that coffin shut, didn’t it?” The crowd oohed at the dig as Mayhem yelled at Naz to stop hiding in the back and come out here and fight if that’s what he wanted so bad. Naz gave a short bark of a laugh before faking tears “AWWWW! Does Emo Boy wanna wessle?” Unfortunately for Mayhem, this fired up a round of EMO BOY chants, and he almost threw down the mic in frustration before running his hand through his hair, but Naz cut him off before he could get out another word: “Mirror Mirror thought it would be fun to screw me out of my World title and I put them in the hospital again. So, if you had multiple brain cells, here’s the question you should ask: what am I going to do to the man who stole it from me?” Mayhem yelled at Naz he didn’t steal anything and — the Tron blipped out, Mayhem let out a furious roar and literally flipped over the timekeeper’s table, stalking his way to the back and trying to ignore the waves of EMO BOY chants.
Announce hyped up two title matches for next week's Ruckus; it's the rubber match between Lolo Vuitton and Summer Rose, the Women's World Championship on the line once again - but given what happened earlier, this is going to be a street fight, the first one in the history of the division to settle this feud once and for all. And the winner of the main event coming up will be defending the resuscitated World TV title.
But before we got to the main, a bit of a surprise - "Unscripted Violence" and The Champ out to do commentary to the pop of the night. He shook hands with Steve and nodded at S. when he sat down. He said that Party went out of his way to toast him Sunday night after his big win, so he was out here to support him back. But he didn't know if Party could pull off a win given the opposition - Katsuji Ootsuka.
Ootsuka got a pop coming out, but it paled in comparison to the newly minted TV Champion and walking White Claw billboard. Both men shook hands after the bell rang and proceeded to go hard the entire match even though both men fought it cleanly. At one point it looked like Party was going to win after a spear but Ootsuka got his foot under the bottom rope and the referee caught it at the death. (Hilariously, Party thought he had won and had to be told by the ref, then the announce, then Razorblade, then Duck that he had not in fact won the match.) Ironically, that gave Ootsuka an opening that he seized when Party returned to the ring. Katsuji's speed started pressing Party, and he started to rack up nearfalls. Party started coming back as the time limit started to come closer to impacting the match and even got the Claw Is Law on. But Katsuji succeeded where Mayhem failed, managing to flail long enough to pull Party as he fell backwards. That ended up making the champ shoulder the post, and Ootsuka used the ropes for momentum to follow up with his signature basement rana driver. Ootsuka flew off with Magical Sky and appeared to have it wrapped up…but it turned out that Party had Ootsuka wrapped up. It took the replays for most of us to realize what had happened, which was this: Party somewhat diluted the impact of Sky by reaching up towards Katsuji as he was coming down, pulling him into a crucifix just long enough to retain the title. ***
| • Party Animal [c] d. Katsuji Ootsuka to retain the QCW World Television championship (1) • |
The referee had to explain to him that Katsuji had kicked out a couple of beats too late, causing the rookie to slump dejectedly against the mat. But Party was there with a helping hand to the cheers of the crowd, setting aside the TV title so he could pull Katsuji up and shake his hand before raising it to an even bigger pop. Ootsuka bowed in Party's direction and applauded his vanquisher before leaving the ring. Starr going "What the hell?!" got the camera's attention - "the hell" was Razorblade jumping up on the announce, yelling out "Hey, champ!" When Party looked over, Razorblade tossed him a Claw then popped one of his own and toasted; Ruckus ended with the mirror image of Mayday Payday only this time Party Animal was standing tall with the Claw in the ring while Razorblade did his sixteen ounce curl atop the table to bring Ruckus to an end.
Well…almost.
Few people know this, but at least currently, the headquarters for QCW are in the basement of the Arena itself. If you’re looking to conduct actual not in the ring QCW business, you have to go down what is known as the Hall of Champions - a simple hallway only notable by the litany of past QCW legends’ pictures you pass by on the way to TCOB. It’s a walk Razorblade’s getting more and more familiar with by the day. Past “Rocket” Ray Gunn, “the Russian Menance” Ivan Caviar (Pyotr’s grandpa), Julius Duquesne, “Cowboy” Jack Powers, “Bigshot” Billy Braggaducci, Sweet Curtis Jones, a cartoon tunnel where King Berger should be, “the Golden One” Neil Everhardt…and one of these things is not like the others, as Razorblade backtracks, realizing the anomaly. He knows the thing he thought he saw can’t be the thing he thought he saw, can it? He approaches it, finds out he can touch it – finds out he can go through it?
And quite suddenly, the Champ is animated. Literally animated, like a cartoon, same fit real him had and everything. He’s in a desert that’s got nothing for it but views and quiet, and even the quiet doesn’t last for long. His eyes bug out, explode, and then respawn immediately as he sees what’s coming over the horizon – challengers. So many challengers, themselves animated, the Partys, Nazzes, Mayhems, Serges, Katsujis, Summers – it’s a list. In a voice that if asked legally was inspired by the Roadrunner but not a direct rip, the (animated) Champ lets out a “Oh meep” and starts taking off. The challengers advance, but the Champ is crafty, using the World title to fashion a slingshot to fire a rock back. It misses several competitors but manages to drop Serge. Naz pulls out an ACME branded chair as he starts to take the lead, only for it to fall apart mid swing when he gets close to hitting Razorblade – when Naz stops to see what’s up with the chair, the rest of the field runs him over. Party Animal starts to lead the pack as Razorblade runs faster towards the screen, letting out a yell that makes the screen go to black down his throat - but just momentarily. As Daniel Liebt’s cover of an eighties classic kicks in, we see the following:
CRUEL SUMMER
PHOENIX, AZ
VETERANS MEMORIAL COLISEUM
THAT’S ALL UNTIL JULY, FOLKS!
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