Last week on Ruckus: the United Contenders Challenge continued with wins from the Immortals and OnlyFitness; the tournament continues with the semifinals tonight • Katusji Ootsuka & Roy Fade got into another couple of brawls leading to the TV title being on the line not only in tonight's main event, but a Last Man Standing match • Nazir el-Fadal beat “the Iron Dwarf” John Arneson in a winner take all main event and added the Evergreen Wrestling League title to his trophy case, only to flee with his belts after Mason “Razorblade” Savage made the save and kept a bloodied Arneson from getting further beaten up
We cold opened with the QCW Women's World Champion Autumn Powers backstage. She let the pop settle down before she introduced herself, and she was already in gear. Jane Doe came from the right side of the screen, haltingly introduced herself as if English were her second language, then gave a sideways thumbs up. Autumn said she figured you should know who they are, since they're about to go down to the ring and ruin some witches' October. She left to head to the ring, leaving Jane behind who cocked her head to the side then tapped the screen once. When nothing happened she did it quickly two more times, then she kept tapping the screen while saying "Open, please" in an increasingly louder tone. Autumn had to come back and explain to her it didn't work like that before leading her away.
The show open reverted back to normal, with more Drake Tremble on the periphery and Jane sprinkled in before ending with all the champions, lastly Nazir el-Fadal preening outside of the Arena but now slowly lifting two titles overhead with an evil grin on his face.
Pyro detonated from and around the QualiTron 3000 as Steve Vandeblanche, S. Mark Starr and a packed Arena full of Quality Controllers welcomed us to Ruckus, starting with a championship level fight…
| • QCW Women’s World Champion Autumn Powers & Jane Doe d. Forbidden Book Club (w/Nancy Crowley) • | We got a sneaky good one here between the newly aligned white hats and the former tag champs in the Club. Before the match began We Took You Back To Last Week where they turfed Diana Spare after being eliminated in their first round Unified Contenders Challenge match, something they blamed her for. The announce said that Spare is recovering, but there’s no timetable for her return yet.
In contrast to last week’s debacle, we got a borderline instant classic that nearly went three segs in women’s tag action. Powers started the match and had few problems with Shelly LaVey, who quickly brought in powerhouse Bonnie Agrippa in for the Club. Agrippa helped turned the tide of the match early on for the Club, matching power with Powers and unafraid to use some help and/or bend the rules along the way, making Jane’s nose twitch on the apron when she got away with a cheap shot.
Autumn actually ended up taking the bulk of the punishment throughout the match for her team, but after a running Shooting Star plancha from Jane on the apron to Nancy Crowley on the outside distracted the Club, Powers was able to neutralize them with a Flatliner/DDT combo and make her way to Jane for the tag.
Doe got into the ring and immediately stymied the FBC with her unpredictable offense and elusiveness, at one point walking away from a LaVey flying crossbody so that she’d smash into Agrippa, then using that confusion to run the ropes and not only FameAsser Agrippa but do it so that she was forced to splash LaVey in the process. That was the last bit of daylight the chances of the FBC winning the match saw, and a couple of minutes later Doe put a button on things by heart punching Agrippa before tagging out to Autumn, who took the honors with the Hazy Shade to give them the win. ** ½
The Club sulked their way to the back in recovery mode while the champ and Miss Intergalactic celebrated on the buckles, Jane continuing her sideways thumbs ups.
After that, we got a pretape from the Commissioner's Office, and Holmes was more clipped than usual here. He stated that bringing back quality to Quality Championship Wrestling was sacrosanct to him and everyone who worked at QCW…except for, apparently the International Workrate Consortium. They may be the Ambassadors champions but he signs their checks, not the other way around. And those checks would be not only lighter thanks to $2,500 fines for the Consortium, but that effective last Saturday they were suspended for 30 days for throwing the UCC first round match last week. Holmes made a notable exception for "the Wonderful" Rich Ward, who stood and fought. Ward wasn't subject to the fine or suspension. But someone else would be getting fined for their own unprofessionalism last week, and as much as he hated to bring the hammer down, he was going to be forced to give Duck Eko a fine..of ten dollars. Given this being a first time offense, he wouldn't be subject to any suspensions so long as he straightened up & flew right. Holmes offered a small smile as the pretape ended.
| • OnlyFitness d. The Immortals in a Unified Contenders Challenge semifinal • |
…I'm sorry, what?
| • OnlyFitness d. The Immortals in a Unified Contenders Challenge semifinal • |
That happened?! I thought I dreamt that.
So, 93% of this went about the way you expect: while OnlyFitness put up a better fight than Los Nuevos Caballeros, pretty soon it looked like an Immortals victory was going to be in the bag.
It looked like Karyn was about to go through Death's Door when things changed; something bounced off of the Revenant, which turned out to be Scott Warren-Tisch's signature hydroflask. Obviously this was like a gnat trying to fight an engine turbine, and the Immortals took great glee in stalking Scott before Einherjar left him for the Revenant, who goozled Scott and put him through the announce table with the Red Right Hand to much applause and merriment. Announce was off air for a little bit afterwards though EMTs were on the way before they got back on air. The Rev was admiring his handiwork when it looked like a fan leaned over the railing to take a swipe at him. After a couple of beats, the camera panned over to show the same land monster that interrupted the Unified World Tag Team championships ceremony. Half his face painted fiery, the other half in icy blue and white. The Revenant stepped to him, wondering what he was doing here. The monster redhead scoffed from behind the barrier – and while the EMTs put Scott on a gurney and the Revenant and….uh, whomever started to get chesty and started drawing Team Teal from different corners of the Arena –
– no one noticed Karyn Tisch-Warren sliding into the ring with a TV monitor then uppercutting Einherjar with it. On the floor with the EMTs, the referee returned to the ring just in time to see Lolo's enzui Bloody Shoe spike Einherjar into Karyn's full nelson facebuster (now called the Only Finished This) and with the Revenant occupied on the floor, OnlyFitness secured maybe the biggest upset in the modern era of QCW. ***
The ladies celebrated their way up the ramp as the Revenant broke his gaze and hit the ring to check on his partner. Karyn peppered Lolo's face with kisses before they waited on the gurney to catch up to them on the ramp with Scott. He gave a feeble thumbs up as they all headed to the ambulance. The Immortals were seething in the ring and when cameras tried to catch up to the redheaded interloper in the stands, his massive hand covered the camera lens. Steve and Starr tried to break down the end of the semifinal but didn't know what to make of the Immortals' ghost or the first ladies of fitness pulling off the shocking win.
From there the announce did a split screen interview from the Arena to Chicago and welcomed the #1 contender Razorblade to the roars of the crowd. Steve noted that it was rare for Razorblade to request interviews, so he must have something important to say. Razorblade agreed, and said that after last week's show he went to Commissioner Holmes and asked for, then got a favor. So next week he and Naz were going to be in a QCW staple - Pick Your Poison. Whoever won their match the fastest would get to name the stipulation for their title rematch at Dev–uh, Mischief Night. Starr asked if Razorblade had a stip in mind should he be able to win out next week and Savage sort of sidestepped it, saying he was more focused on trying to handle whatever BS Naz would throw at him next week. Steve asked him if he had anyone in mind to pick for next week and Razorblade allowed a small laugh before saying that was the one good thing about Naz: everyone in QCW wanted a shot at him, so he’d go through the offers he got and then pick the one that he thought would secure his win. He added he thought he was sick of Naz before, but watching him preen around and bully everybody because he had a good night at AnIIversary was new levels of annoying. He had to win Pick Your Poison next week so he could win back the World title at Mischief Night and try and stop Naz’s parade of ego once and for all. Everyone bleeds, and everyone would love to see Naz bleed, so at Mischief Night he knew exactly what he had to do; he’d figure out the how tos on the way. Announce thanked him for his time, even though Starr got in a couple of jibes at his expense afterwards saying that Naz’s ego trip was on him for not taking care of business at AnIIversary.
Let Us Take You Back To Last Week where Jupiter Jones won a match then shot down Pierce Moore's smack talking on the QualiTron by saying he couldn't stop Jones from kicking his ass again.
| • Jupiter Jones d. “Dashing” Pierce Moore • | Jones was more right than wrong in the AnIIversary rematch, though Moore put up a better fight than he did at the PPV. Moore took advantage by bailing to the floor and suckering Jones into a charge that he dodged and sent the former champ into the steps. Moore kept the pressure on but when he went for his Fresh To Death cutter Jones drilled him with an enzui Bolt From Olympus that sent Mr. Dashing into the mat at warp speed. Jones loaded up another one and hit it for the clean win. ** ½
As Moore loopily stumbled to the back, the rest of Collipark came out to celebrate with Jupiter. Announce put over Jones's revitalized singles career as his former partner Benjamin Valentino bragged to the camera that it smelled like Triple Crown SZN was here.
I missed this on the first watch through since it sort of looked like a commercial, but apparently it was a vignette: filmed wholly in black and white except for falling rose petals, a voice talked about fall and autumns leading to rebirths. Whatever or whoever Midsomnar is, it/they are coming soon.
| • “Swamp Trash” Ted Holland d. Lucius Patton • | A bit of an upset here as the newcomer bested the former tag champ. All I can safely say is this: if it wasn’t for pro wrestling, Ted Holland would probably be doing time right now. He was affable to the referee beforehand and even shook Patton’s hand before the bell and then once the match start fought like he was going to get reinstitutionalized if he lost. Lots of unnecessarily dirty fighting on an elemental level (eye rakes, biting, headbutts) and poor good guy Lucius found himself on the wrong side of a beating while both the announce and wide swaths of the crowd were sort of unnerved by the self proclaimed Swamp Trash laying in the lumber. Of note, he finally put Sweet Lu away with the Truth Bomb of Drake Tremble. ** Post-match, he shook hands with the referee again and left the ring, crossing paths with Collipark and a pissed Jupiter Jones, who rebuffed Holland’s handshake attempt and seemed to be considering whether or not to punch him out before blowing him off and checking on his long time partner. Holland only looked back in their direction once before shaking his head and walking to the back; fortunately for Collipark while Patton was recovering on the mat he seemed to be more embarrassed by the loss than suffering any long term effects from Ted’s attack.
As the teams came out for the second semifinal on the evening, brief video clips played of their round 1 victories (Fated took a close one from the Proper Villains, and the Hard Way benefited from the continued dysfunction of the Wonderful Ward Brothers to beat Rich in an ad hoc handicap match). There's also history here with the Hard Way being picked up and eventually discarded by the Forbidden Book Club, who slated this FBC to take the former champs' places.
| • the Hard Way d. Fated To Become Champions in a Unified Contenders Challenge semifinal • | But if they're to live up to their name, it won't be because they won the Unified Contenders Challenge. Buoyed by recent talks with Al Buffett (who'll they'll have to face if they win the UCC) they seem to have finally shed the spell the Club had them under and look closer to what they did when they were tag champs. FBC tested them for a couple of segments but they finally got Toddzilla gassed enough to take advantage of him and wear him down. In a change of pace they got the duke with a missile dropkick sandwich to take down the big man, and when Fifita knocked VillaLobos to the floor to keep him from interfering, that put a bow on things. ***
The Hard Way got on the buckles to celebrate advancing to the finals, and since we can't have nice things the crowd's changing response got their attention. Scott wasn't on the scene, but the OnlyFitness ladies were, and they headed to the ring while the Hard Way steeled themselves for a fight. Instead, they hit the ring and got in their faces, Karyn using her well trained "I demand to speak to your manager!" voice and Lolo majored in smack talk while popping gum. The crowd revved up for the brawl but some throat clearing put a pin in that – Beckett Carpenter was on the QualiTron 3000, flanked by the rest of the Unified World Tag Team champions in the Game Changers (Buffett x Szabo). Al congratulated OnlyFitness on making it to the finals despite just getting together "...well, I'm sure that's what you're telling Scott about all your 'training sessions'...". Ashley said speaking of simps, there's the Hard Way!
(Oh, and for no extra charge, snap)
Szabo said it was the worst possible matchup for them in the finals: two women used to bossing and bench pressing men around. But at least it wasn't going to cost them $18.99 a month. Almost in unison, Al and Bennett noted that they were probably already paying it. (+10 for Al sotto voicing that he it was a decent price considering the content.) Ashley said her OF did better numbers for a little bit less, but if they wanted to collab and unite some green instead of gold, her DMs were open. Bennett put a cap on the Championship Comedy Hour, saying that no matter which team won the Challenge, they wouldn't win their title challenge in New Orleans…and since the Unified World Tag Team champs travelled the world free of fake barriers, there was nothing stopping them from being back at the Arena next week to give the winners an up close and personal congratulations. But as Al taught them and Ashley lived out daily, evolving isn't enough for these times in QCW: you have to Look Inward.
The Changers blipped off the screen to a pop, leaving the teams in the ring to not only resume arguing but make some angry gestures in the direction of the QT3K. Announce used the bickering as a ramp way to talk about the big matches happening on next week's show:
🌟🌟 The United Contenders Challenge finals are set! Who'll earn the shot at the titles at Mischief Night next week, the former tag champs the Hard Way or the devious and beautiful OnlyFitness? 🌟🌟
🌟🌟 Two matches to Pick Your Poison next week between the QCW World Champion Nazir el-Fadal and the former champ & #1 contender Razorblade - whoever gets the fastest win time gets to pick the stipulation for their Mischief Night title rematch 🌟🌟
🌟🌟 And it's Ruckus, so the World TV title is going to be defended…but who's going to be TV champ next week and what'll they have left after being the Last Man Standing? 🌟🌟
| • | the main event | • |
The rivalry between Katsuji Ootsuka and Roy Fade has low-key been one of QCW’s biggest rivalries in 2022. It goes back to their facing off in the Consolation Cup on the Mayday Payday preshow, where Fade got injured in a match with Ootsuka and the Prince of Punishment picked up the win. Fade was on the shelf for a couple of months but came back to cost Katsuji a match on the Cruel Summer PPV as well as regain the TV title. He had to survive a 20-person battle royale (Ootsuka was the other final survivor) then beat Ootsuka to become #1 contender for the TV title; the next week he became the first person to beat Razorblade all year, and handful of tights and feet on the ropes or no, Roy Fade had become the first ever two-time TV champ. Fade then went on a roll for weeks, culminating in his making an open challenge at AnIIversary that was answered by…you guessed it, the returning Katsuji, who beat Roy to capture his first piece of QCW gold. Fade’s been ruining title defenses Ootsuka’s tried to make since, causing Commissioner Holmes to try and stifle these incursions by letting them face off again, but this time in a match where the stakes have never been higher and the stipulation could not be more dangerous: for the first time in QCW’s modern era, there’s a Last Man Standing match.
| • Katusji Ootsuka [c] d. “These Hands” Roy Fade in a last man standing match to retain the QCW World Television title • | And it took three segments, an overrun and nearly half an hour for him to do so, but Katsuji Ootsuka was the Last Man Standing.
To give a sense of how personal this has gotten, Fade came out first and laid in wait by the entryway for Ootsuka to come out, then jumped him once he did. Ootsuka took some blows, lashed out with a gut shot before coming back with some shots of his own, and we were underway.
There were moments where one guy would get the upper hand over the other, but given the history between them it wouldn’t shock to find that nobody was dominant despite the fact they nearly put 30 on the board. Fade’s sneak attack touched off what ended up a backstage brawl between both men, replete with fire extinguisher attacks, Fade getting more oomph behind a punch by leaping off of a production wardrobe, and most hilariously enough the entirety of Team Teal standing in front of Commissioner Holmes’ window (yunno, just in case).
The fight ended up heading towards ringside, where Ootsuka would gain the advantage by backdropping Fade’s attempt at the Decision away and sent him spilling to the floor in the process, before he sent him into the steps on both sides of the ring. The Prince of Punishment went under the ring for weaponry and came up with a couple of kendo sticks, only for Fade to lash out suddenly and drill him with the ring bell, causing Katsuji to get busted open. Fade laid in a couple more bell shots and then tuned up Ootsuka with the kendo stick for a bit, but Katsuji would come fighting back by briefly beating the count before falling back down. Fade went over to continue the offense only to get snatched up in a kip up rana, and Fade bailed to the floor. He wasn’t safe there, as Ootsuka flew off the apron and dotted his eyes with a kendo stick shot. Ootsuka sent Fade into the post, then when Roy’s arms slumped around it hit an enzui Yakuza shot that caused a loud echoing thud to be heard all over the Arena. Fade beat this count at 6, but came up bleeding. When Ootsuka came after him, Fade immediately put a stop to thing by uppercutting him with a low blow, then draped Ootsuka over the barricade before hitting the Decision – but Ootsuka beat the count at 8.
Fade went after Katsuji again and blocked a TV monitor with his face for the result, then staggered into the ring where Ootsuka finally got to his feet and followed him in. Fade missed a Decision, Ootsuka missed a uraken, then Fade slapped Katsuji and Ootsuka slapped Roy and pretty soon they were in a good old fashioned hockey fight much to the delight of the Quality Controllers. When Fade started losing the fight, he kicked Katsuji low; as the champ was going down, he lashed out and punched Fade in the Golden Gloves, both men going down clutching their groins to laughter and sympathetic winces.
Both men got up at either seven or eight then proceeded to empty the tanks from there: at one point Ootsuka had a trash can wrapped around Fade and teed off on it with roundhouse kicks from either side of the plate. Fade cut off a Magical Sky attempt by throwing the battered can at Katsuji on the top rope, and after he fell into the ring Fade capitalized and drilled him with the Decision, only for Katsuji to draw himself up with the ropes at 9. Fade went for something on Ootsuka, who wiped him out with a beautiful spinning back elbow that would’ve ended a normal match. Ootsuka went up, maybe to end things with his signature Magical Sky, but Fade sort of tripped the referee into falling onto the top rope to crotch Katsuji (as Starr pointed out almost immediately, shady but perfectly legal in a LMS affair). Fade came off the top with a turning avalanche gourdbuster that set up another Decision attempt, but this time Fade whiffed and even worse for him went flying knee first into the buckles.
From there, Katsuji took advantage of the injury and weapons to target Fade’s knee with kendo stick shots, Fade a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest who had to beg off in hopes of buying himself time. Katsuji didn’t care and went after his knee with kendo shots, then when Fade started smack talking he caught one across the jaw that shut him up. Ootsuka unloaded on Fade, nearly beating him to a bloody pulp until the stick imploded and then just using his fists to whale on These Hands until they were bloody too. Ootsuka let out a yell and went to the back before coming back out with gaffer tape in his teeth and tables in his hand. Fade tried to crawl away to save himself but got stopped by Ootsuka not only stepping on his bad wheel but grinding his boot into it, then dropping the tables on it. Ootsuka went back to pummeling Fade and eventually taped his mouth shut, then taped him down to the tables after he set them up. Roy couldn't have gotten up to beat the count but that didn't happen anyways. The crowd buzz grew to a roar as Ootsuka appeared on the second floor balcony and looked down at Fade before extending an uncharacteristic pair of middle fingers.
Then he flew off the balcony and almost certainly into the show open with the most magic of Magical Sky attempts and connected, the shooting star elbow drop sending both men through both tables. The "Holy shit!" chants went on well before the referee made a check on both men, and continued through the first half of the count. When it got to 8, Katsuji used some nearby production tables to pull himself up; when the count hit 10 without a peep from Fade, the referee called it. **** ½
Instant classic, MOTYC, call it what you want, but I suspect in the spring you'll call it eligible for some Quality Awards. The referee ran back to ringside whole Ootsuka collapsed against the rail with a bloody smile on his face, one that only grew when he was handed the belt. EMTs were back out to check on a barely conscious Fade as the referee raised Ootsuka's free hand to the pop of the night and Katsuji managed to hold the belt up briefly before falling to his knees. He slowly drew himself up, staggered over to where Fade was, and managed to hold the TV title up again before falling on his ass again; as the credit box came up a couple of EMTs went over to the spent Ootsuka, who was dripping red all over the gold he more than earned after tonight - catch you next week for Pick Your Poison and more bringing the Ruckus!
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